Saturday, August 16, 2008

Unexpected Sadness

I was watching the Olympics today and Hazel Clark was scheduled to run and they did a quick promo piece about her and her family. Then it happened I started thinking about my Mina and the tears began to fall right there in the chow hall. My Mina is pretty fast and she's so funny. She's my girl, my advocate, Niama is my cutie, my little fat baby although she's just about lost all of her baby fat and thinned out like her sister and then there's E. B short for Ibrahim. I had to leave I ran into the bathroom and stayed until the faucet in my eyes subsided and then I regained composure and went back to work.

Sometime in December is what I am looking at. I have two court dates before then. I have my Temporary Restraining Order hearing on the 25th of this month and then I have the Criminal case set for the earliest September 10 there is no guarantee as the system is backlogged. However September 10 is the earliest that I can talk to someone about getting this thing off my foot. The best that I can hope for is a dismissal because that is the only way that it will not be a permanent record. Now that I am in the system I get a ton of junk mail from lawyers and such wanting to represent my case. I went with the lawyer that was referred to me William J. Cone Jr of Fort Lauderdale Fl 954-764-0570. He came highly recommended and he gave me a real sit down reality check as to how the system works and it is evident that they are not concerned with justice, equality or fairness. It is politics, pure and simple, politics and money.

I would like to post something from one of those advertisements here and I will post the link so that he can get credit for his statement.

Domestic Violence cases are considered extremely serious matters. According to the State Attorney's Office policy, "This office maintains a pro-prosecution policy towards Domestic Violence. Therefore, all cases involving crimes of Domestic Violence will be reviewed for prosecution regardless of the victim's wishes." Furthermore, under Florida law, all Domestic Violence cases are considered "Dangerous Crimes" which are prevented from being sealed or expunged unless dropped or dismissed. If the case is not sealed or expunged, for employment and public viewing, the case will remain on your criminal history record forever. However, the prosecutor must refrain from prosecuting a charge that the prosecutor knows is not supported by probable cause. My firm mainly focuses on Domestic Violence cases.
Eric H. Weingard, P. A

So basically if my wife doesn't strongly state that this was all a fabrication or something I am looking at a lengthy legal battle to get this removed from my record. Furthermore it throws 18 years of military service down the drain as I will be relegated to filing papers until my retirement date. So this is pretty serious. I may never be able to see my kids again due to the severity of the accusation. My Judge, Judge Gonzales is running for re-election and my case just happened to come at the wrong time and the last thing that he wants to see on his re-election resume is a husband that he let go went batty and slayed his wife. He could then kiss his career goodbye so he threw the book at me. He will not be back into the office until after the re-election sometime after the 26th of August.

So such is life for now. I don't quite know what Allah has in store for me. I don't know what will happen if my children get sick, I will miss their first day of school, I will miss a lot of things. I may as well been deployed for two years, but I cherish the two beautiful months that I had all of the days at the Miami Children's Museum, and the Museum of Science and the MetroZoo the days at the park and the pool, the trips to the park and the night time books will all be missed in this period of Darkness while Allah works his plan. I still love her in spite of this nonsense and I always will regardless of what happens. I think she needs help and I do not curse her as it only soils the heart. My breast has been expanded and I pray for her during this time that she has fallen into the plan of Allah as we are both in it and I am sure that what He will do will be most beneficial for our souls.


  1. I don't think she will say it was all fabricated because that would mess her up when you decide to go for the jugular at child custody time.

  2. At child custody time the chances are that I will still be going through the domestic violence case. It would be unfortunate that this tactic was used for the purposes of gaining ground in child custody, but it was very effective and damning. It gave my wife a surefire win in terms of custody of the children with the severity of the accusations. It would be a shame, but I think that it would be a little more than she wanted to chew. With a Judge going up for re-election it may be mandated that I never see my kids again. After O. J. everyone goes to jail.

    This fight is completely out of my hands and is totally in the hands of Allah and He will do with it what he wills. I am not behind the wheel in this matter any more. Allah has made it perfectly clear to me to sit down and shut up and that is what I am going to do. If she wants to press this battle she will not be pressing it with me. It may be that all of those footsteps that I spent walking to the masjid in Bahrain are coming to fight for me and my children. I'm not trying to take the children from her completely, I only asked that she honor her word in the marriage contract. I get the kids and she can come and see them WHENEVER she wants with a two hour notice. That is all that I am asking for, what she previously offered.

    As for this matter though Allah has removed me far from it so all I can do is wait and see how he orchestrates the events in our lives.

  3. I can't see her giving more than 50/50 and if you push for more she will push back.

  4. I think she has pushed enough already. From what I have heard from the lawyers is that she has by default won this issue unless Allah provides for me another way. At this point she is really free to choose what she wants, and I hope that she is happy with whatever she chooses, but the last and final word rest with Allah and it is obvious that His hand is in this and mine is removed so I am more than certain that the absolute best outcome of this situation will be realized.

  5. I think that if the sister truly believes in Allah and the Last Day, that she would fear for her soul and the souls of those she loves. Truly Allah knows what is best.

    I can't say how much this situation hurts me.....the hubbex hasn't called his kids in three months and here you are....wanting your kids. SubhanAllah!

    It would be horrible if you lost your 18 year investment.......that's your career...your future.

    Perhaps both of you are just upset right now....and you'll come around....and your precious wife....will come around.

    In this sort of one wins.

    Do you know I pray for your family? I do. Often I remember your case and ask Allah to bring about some ease.

    Maybe Allah will soften hearts? It's possible.....

    I wish the best for all of you....

  6. If she wins and pushes for 50/50 then most probable thing that would happen is that because she lives so far away from me and child care centers don't open up so early she will have to meet me at the police station every morning at 4:45am on the weeks that I have custody. With school in and traffic picking up as we will see next Monday I will have to leave earlier and earlier for work. So most probably the courts will frown on such an arrangement and just give her full custody, even if it is against her wishes.

  7. I'm just curious. you say that she "fabricated" all this.

    I'm sure there is the other side of the story as well.

    They will probably look for some probable cause.

    Are you saying you didn't verbally or physically threaten her at all, because after reading your blog, you are a very impulsive man. So, I kinda think there are two sides to this story.

    Also, your wife is also Muslim, so why shouldn't she have the kids? Why do you want custody? Why would you want to take the kids away from their mother. You are the one that pushed her away saying you wanted an extra wife. You want more and more responsibility but you can't even handle the women you HAD.

    It's good you are reading Quran.

    Sorry brother, but I feel for your wife, she is also Muslim and you oppressed her with bills, being in the military and away from home, and talk about having sex with another (possible) wife.

    I would've left you LONG ago.

    May Allah (SWT) be kind to BOTH you and your wife. And your kids.

    I don't think you are completely blameless though, wa Allahu Alim.

    I wish your wife would keep blogging.

  8. She is blogging here So you can go and read for yourself what it is she has to say. By law I cannot comment on her blog, but I can on mine.

    It is in Allah's plan now and I submit to His will My Wife and I and Allah know best what happened and it will be Him that decides the outcome that is best. I am out of it really.

    Legally she has all of the balls in her court on her side. It is only me and Allah on my side so I will wait and you all can wait with me.