Saturday, August 23, 2008

This is the one I was looking for...



ANI DIFRANCO LYRICS



"Done Wrong"

the wind is ruthless
the trees shake angry fingers at the sky
the people hunch their shoulders
hold their collars over their earsand run by
it's a cold rain
it's a hard rain
like the kind that you find in songs
i guess that makes methe jerk with the heartache
here to sing youabout how i've been done wrong

and i am sitting, watching
out the window of the coffee shop
and i am waiting, waiting
waiting for it to let up
i am rocking like a cradle
warming my hands with the cup in between
i am leaning over the table
holding my face over the steam

and before it gets so cold
that the rain turns to snow
there's just a couple things
i'd like to know

like how could you do nothing
and say, i'm doing my best
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest
how could you beg me to stay,
reach out your hands and plead
and then pack up your eyes and run away
as soon as i agreed

it just all slips
away so slowly
you don't even notice till you've lost a lot
i've been like one of those zombies
in vegas
pouring quarters into a slot
and now i'm tired
and i am broke
and i feel stupid and i feel used
and i'm at the end of my little rope
and i am swinging back and forth
about you

before it gets so cold
that the rain turns to snow
there's just a couple things
i'd like to know

like how could you do nothing
and say, i'm doing my best
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest
how could you beg me to stay,
reach out your hands and plead
and then pack up your eyes and run away
as soon as i agreed

8 comments:

  1. I'd like to hear this song....perhaps I'll youtube it.....

    It hits home with me as well.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. egyptiansister8/24/2008 06:31:00 AM

    Everyone has his side to the story. For everyone who hasn't ventured over to his wife's blog here is the link:
    http://daybyday1atatime.blogspot.com/2008/08/omfg.html

    Put it together yourself. See her cries and pleas and how she wanted to remain with him but his mental health has deteriorated until the point it has propagated lies in which he believes to be truth.

    He has a mental sickness to where a person actually believes his own lies.

    Now read her blog and then his and take what they both say and decide for yourself who sounds more truthful. Sounds like to me that she loves him and wanted it to work but he couldn't get these lies (that his mental sickness causes him to believe to be truth) out of his head to make it work.

    For those who don't want to bother going over to her blog, here is what she had to say:

    "OMFG
    I can not believe what has happened in the course of 24 hours. My husband was SUPPOSE to be coming over to talk yesterday but when I got home the sitter had already let him in and he walked out to greet me. It felt nice to come home to him even with all the shit goin on. I thought that we would be talking about him moving in. I walked in the house and he didn't follow me in??? He stayed outside and put the carseats in his car. He wanted the kids until Friday, cool no problem....UNTIL I look in the back of his car and he has ALL of their clothes packed in a GIMONGOUS bin??? Did he really need ALL THOSE CLOTHES for a meesly 4 day visit? I think not. I think he is taking them without plans to bring them back so now the crap hits the fan. He is strapping my 1 year old in his carseat and I got HE-MAN muscles from somewhere deep down where mothers go to protect their kids and I picked up the whole bin of clothes which must've weighed as much, if not more, than me and took it BACK in my house. By the time I get back outside he has strapped the 1 year old in and is now on the passenger side strapping in the 5 year old. I go to the drivers side and ATTEMPT to get my son out the carseat. This usually is an easy task until my husband grabs my wrist and demands that I leave the baby alone. EXCUSE ME, this is my son I will not sit by and let you take them until we have sat down and got something in writing as to when you intend to bring them back. He won't let me go so I snatch away and start toward my house. He comes up fast behind me and I leave my heels in the parking lot and head barefoot quick to my door. He meets me at my door and grabs my wrist again trying to get me to give him the baby. At this point I get loud and start to scream "Let me go. You're hurting me". My 3 year old isin the house and hears the commotion so she comes to the door. I quickly yank my arm from him, run in the house and lock the door. He jumps in his car and speeds off with my 5 year old.At this point I just want to talk to him and come to an agreement about him returning my child. He calls me and tells me that he will do everything in his power to take ALL the kids away from me. I ask for a peaceful50/50 split and he informs me that he wants full residential custody and I have to pay him child support. I inform him that I will not give him my kids and he starts to threaten me and a male friend that he thinks I'm sleeping with. He goes on about how he'll ruin our careers and then it escalates to physical threats and then it's having my head on a platter. I believe him and call the police to get a restraining order. The officer gets there and I tell her what has happened. She informs me that since he grabbed me forcefully and children are involved she has to file charges. I tell her I don't want to press charges I just want a restraining order, she says I'm sorry I have to file it. She explains that the state presses charges even if the victim does not. OMFG, I don't want him arrested just away. I am very scared at this point and he calls back about 15 times while the police officer is there so I decide to leave with the officer and go to a safe place with her. I get about 15 minutes of sleep in this strange place with everything on my mind. I get a call that he is in custody and I start to cry. I hate where this has gone. All I wanted was for him to move in with ALL his stuff so that we could work out our problems. He wanted me to break my lease and abandon my townhouse to go live with his mother???WTF kinda option is that? If he don't wanna get back FINE then give me EQUAL time with my kids. I went to court the next day and told the judge that I didn't want to press charges, I just wanted a restraining order. The judge was harsh and set his bail at $35,000. WHOA, maybe he had a victim turn up dead b4 i don't know but that was harsh. I have been crying every since. Now look where we are? All of this because I wouldn't move in his mom's house? Why couldn't he just show up with his clothes & try 4 our family? I'm looking at our family picture with tears streaming down my face. It's 1 AM and I can't sleep knowing he is in a jail cell. I love him till it hurts but he backed me into a corner and I had to fight back in the only way that will help me. I needed something on paper in case I come up missing or dead. I am afraid for my life more NOW than before I had the restraining order. I am afraid he will be so mad he will do something terrible without thinking. I pray that he does some hard thinking while he is in there and he comes out in the right frame of mind. I still love him and I still will give him 50/50 visitation with the kids but 1st I need to be sure I'm not gonna end up DEAD. I'll keep you posted "

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you sister for posting and as you all know I put a lot of my information on my blog but there is a ton more that I don't. If I put it all here it would be a gross violation of Sunnah. Yes there are two sides but the rest of it I don't tell the world as it would be GROSSLY against the Sunnah.

    There is much more to the situation than what you see. What you are seeing isn't even the tip of the Iceberg. My beliefs, past experiences (facts) and eyewitness accounts make the situation a little more tenuous.

    I understand your position but there is a little more to it than that and it will not be me to put it out there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My mental health, I am certifiably depressed. This is true I have lost something that is dear to me and that is hard to reconcile. I feel completely betrayed and victimized, but these are the realities of pain. You can't control how you or the other person is going to deal with it. So life moves on.

    I appreciate your concern and I thank you for your comments, dua works well also. May Allah increase you in compassion.

    Wa A'laikum AsSalaam

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Muhammad,

    I am not going to get caught up in some cycle of drama like egyptian sister is trying to propogate (and did on Skainah's blog as well). I am sure that you and Sakinah know the reality of what happened and we all know that 2 people can see the same situation from distincly different points of view. I keep you both in my prayers.

    What I wanted to write about was the depression. As you know, I have a lot of experience with it. I urge you to seek professional help and consider medication if your mental health care practitioner thinks it might help for the short run. The human body has a hard time fighting the effects of clinical depression and the chemical imbalance that ensues is very hard to overcome naturally. Huge strides have been made in treating Clinical Depression so don't be afraid to grasp any of the tools that are recommended and available to you.

    Salaam Alaikum,
    PM

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you Big Sister ;)

    Hopefully my depression isn't that bad. My Mom told me that what I need to do is set goals for a day and make sure that those goals get accomplished and then I will be able to crawl out of this hole emotionally. The court ordered "no Contact" thing kind of helps too because talking with her makes it difficult to heal and decide either way where I want to go.

    I appreciate you making dua for me. She didn't show so who knows what we have in store for us. Only Allah knows what the future holds, but right now I need to be task oriented.

    Thank you again PM,

    Wa A'laikum AsSalaam

    Muhammad

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  7. Up until now I have not meddled with any comments on my blog and I will not allow it to become a grounds for comment wars. If you have beef with me I will allow you to post whatever you wish unfiddled with unless it is spam, but if you wish to attack another member of blogland then you need to do that on their own site.

    Egyptian Sister cover the faults of the Muslims. The faults of my own that I try to expose are in fact that My own faults. I haven't disclosed the REST of the dirty laundry as I see it with all of the assorted facts and what not. Trust me the world doesn't need to know.


    whatever PM. As I said, this story has 2 sides. Just like any story. We always tend to get caught up in one side of the story and never take the chance to listen to the other person's side.

    Oh would like to know what I tried to stir up over on Sakinahs blog?

    Section deleted by me

    Anyhow... Bro. Muhammad, Yes may Allah increase me in compassion. Amin. But in all honesty I hope it turns out well for both of you. And you all work this out whether you all remain together or apart. Just get back having a healthly relationship either way.

    Assalamu alaikom,
    Egyptian sister

    ReplyDelete
  8. I would just like to reiterate that I have NEVER taken sides or passed judgment on the issues between you and Sakinah. I think my comments show that I am aware there are 2 sides to every story. I think Egyptian sister's comments speak for her as well.

    ReplyDelete