Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Not really living life

Ok that is a pretty bold statement, but have you ever just sat and thought “I’m not living life; I’m just watching it go by”? That is how I feel. I think that if I was in charge of my life things would be moving along a whole lot differently. Of course there are things out of your control like natural calamities, circumstances that are out of your control immediately, like you work at McDonalds and you have Trump plaza bills. You need to spend money to make money and you have to spend more than you have. One step forward two steps back sort of thing. Like just now we learned that my wife’s grandmother has a mortgage payment due of $8000.00. Personally I believe that my wife can raise the money between her and her mom and stuff but still it is an expansive amount of cash to come up with. Like in the movie Elizabethtown “If it wasn’t this it would be something else.” Too much. So anyway back to what I was saying I’m just coasting along in life and I have been doing it for so long I don’t know if I have the prerequisite motivation to get out of the cycle. I am working on the diseases of my heart and this should help a great deal, but it is a daily struggle.

I suppose the first place that I should start is my relationships. Where they are and where I would like them to be. I would like to start with my relationship with my wife. I would really like to become her perfect husband I think that it is only fair seeing that she is the perfect wife. I have no complaints about my wife and her small character flaws can easily be overlooked. She’s very beautiful and she makes an effort to ensure that she, our children and our house reflect that beauty. She is a hard worker and a lovely person. Now the kind of husband I am is just a laid back kind of guy that gets really upset when I feel my authority is being challenged.

So this is the kind of husband I want to be. I envision myself as the kind of husband that takes the time to make dates with my wife. I mean really go out of my way to set up the venue and set the candles and everything. I would like (this is an impossible post by the way because all of my children are off the chain this evening, and now dinner is ready)

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I'm Slippin

It has been a couple of days since I’ve posted. This is how it usually starts. I got the email thing down so I can post just by writing a email message and that is good. I think that will allow me to write easier than normal and it is less conspicuous when I write at work.

Sakina and I got into a beef last night. I suppose it was inevitable as we were both sleep deprived and cranky. We worked it out but she has concerns that our older daughter is having serious issues about what commitment is and how healthy are her views on marriage. I suppose all couples beef from time to time. Usually it is about something pretty benign. Our beef was about our daughter’s bedtime and her going to sleep in her bed and her being afraid. I was trying to put my daughter to sleep and she kept getting up and finally I put her in bed and demanded that she sleep, before I was in her room lying by her side. After that my wife allowed her to come out of her room. When I heard this I stormed out of the bathroom and slammed my bedroom door. Unfortunately this coincided with my daughter coming out of her room and it scared the bejezus out of her. This of course pissed my wife off, which was further fueled by the fact that I was angry and insensitive at the time. I did do something I don’t normally do which is communicating my feelings but nevertheless I was mad. She too was mad and so she didn’t come to bed last nightL. I apologized to her this morning I was going to do it last night but she was praying. Hopefully everything is boiled over now even though I’m still the mean insensitive daddy.

My wife is working now so of course she wants to spend her money. I had to explain our financial situation and the fact that I don’t have a problem with her spending her money. I just don’t want her to incur a recurring bill, because she isn’t always working. Anything could happen so that she doesn’t work. She says that if she gets pregnant again she will work through it but her cerclage I feel won’t let her do it. Furthermore I think that we would be devastated if she were to miscarry just for a few bucks. So I don’t want her risking it. She has put herself on the hook for paying her grandparents mortgage and their health insurance.  That’s is like $1200 a month plus she wants to put in hardwood floors, and a new porch and paint the house and I’m fine with that I just don’t want to commit to anything I can’t pay for with my own paycheck and not put us out. I know how spending money can be addictive, and I would actually prefer her working, only because I don’t make enough to buy her whatever she wants, but I can’t risk the rest of the house’s finances on an extra obligation that can’t be paid on a consistent basis by myself.

I’m trying to memorize Surah Al-Alaq I have about 12 Ayahs down good there are 19 in all I hope to get them on the way home today. When I know it I have to remember that there is a Sajda at the end of the surah. I know that the first time I recite the whole thing in Salat that my wife will wonder what is going on when I make Sajda and come back up and then go into Ruku.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Email Blogging failed and the subject of Riba

I tried to blog via email, but it failed miserably. So now when I go back to work I will have to repost that section of my blog. I just got finished reading some fiqh issues on and I realized how grossly ignorant I am. They say that about knowledge that the more you find out the more you find that you don’t know. I know that I don’t want to be questioned harshly on the Day of Judgement though. I know that some of my actions thus far can lead to that happening. I really don’t want that because this life is just not worth it.

There are some protective measures that I must take to prevent this. Making my money halal is one of the fard ain that I must do to release myself from the massive burden of sin. I do remember saying that I would not go into Riba again, however here I am in a beautiful house sucking down more Riba. Now me and my family need to make evasive steps to get out of it and set aside a nest egg that will ensure that we are not tempted to fall back into it again.

I’ve thought of doing something with my house such as devising some kind of shares scheme where I have the house appraised annually against the market and deduct 5% off of the appraised value and then pay off shares at specific time periods. Like I owe $245K on my house if I issue $1000 certificates that would be redeemable at different time periods then I may be able to raise enough money to pay off the interest loan on my house and still provide a vehicle for persons to make money from the appraisal of my property.

So I would probably do something like this. On one side I would have people holding certificates that would be redeemable at different time intervals so 1 year 2 year etc. on the other side I would have an escrow account. I would pay monthly into the escrow account and then I would have eligible call dates that would be released for a time period annually to prevent a run on the house (forcing me to take out conventional loans to pay for it). Prior to the call dates the house would be appraised and the certificate value would be assessed for call value. Certificate holders would then be given the option to liquidate their shares payable through the equity account or continue to hold them. This process would continue for the length of the partnership term. As shareholders decided to sell their shares on the call dates I would then have the option to purchase them out of the monies held in escrow, which would be approximately $24K a year. This would then mean that I would have to structure my payments to coincide with the markets. The escrow amount represents my amount of shares. So if in ten years the home is worth twice the amount of the original purchase price then I would own a percentage of the shares.

The difference between this model and the guidance model is both the partner of the house and the investors have a potential to lose or profit. I don’t see how the guidance model allows for both profit and loss. I do see a benefit of your credit not to be negatively affected and the possibility of you getting money back from a foreclosure.

Ultimately there has to be an end to the payments. So then what I would say is this structure the partnership for ten or fifteen years at the end of which the resident partner has the option to buyout the other partners or shareholders. The price of the stock will be the adjusted price of the initial investment and the current appraised value of the home. So for example if someone bought a 1 year option for $1000 and at the end of the year the home appreciated 20% then the resident shareholder would be responsible to pay $1200 on the shares this is money that would be taken from the escrow account. It would therefore be prudent that the resident shareholder keep up with payments at the rate of the current market and structure his payments and term to account for large spikes in the housing market. If the housing market took a slump then it would be advantageous for the non-resident shareholder to hold their shares and the resident shareholder to buy shares.

If at the end-of-partnership dissolution the resident owner does not possess enough capital in escrow then the partnership can choose to either sell the property or enter into a new term of partnership that represents the outstanding shares on the property. This arrangement seems fairer for both the lending party and the resident party. Since all parties are shareholders all property expenses and insurance is split. Utilities and wear and tear costs shall be incurred by the resident shareholder. If at anytime the resident shareholder ceases to remain in the residence then he becomes a non-resident shareholder and the affairs of the property must be approved by the board of trustees. The escrow account would be the place of accumulated payments made to the property and would represent the shares of the resident shareholder. It would work for the resident shareholder to keep sufficient funds in escrow to buyout non-resident shareholders at call periods. There should be penalties for selling shares prior to a shareholders eligible call date. Essentially the program is a real estate investment trust on a singular level.

The other method that is Islamically legal is have a group of investors purchase a home and outlay a series of sales prices in advance such as if you pay at the 5 year mark then the house is $350K if you pay at the 10 year mark then the house is $400K etcetera and then I choose which price I am comfortable with. This seems to be the simplest plan. Everyone knows what they are responsible for. It just so happens that if one does not remain in the house until the agreed upon sales date then one has the possibility of losing money. I think that this is a fair instrument of home transferring where you could just walk in and pick your payment, and it would allow the financier the ability to sell his deed at a lower price if he wanted liquidate his assets. Man give me a little bit of money and this is exactly what I would do. This house is this price today, price x tomorrow and price y the day after that you choose your payments and how long you wish to pay them. Bam finished. So easy. So I have to give this some serious thought and work out arrangements so that I maneuver myself out of the debt that I have placed myself in.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Finished Lives of Man

Subhannallah! That was an excellent book. I cried again reading it. May Allah Subhannahu Wa T’ala save us from the torment of the Fire and grant us Jannah. The delights of paradise are so numerous that one cannot comprehend. The tortures of the hellfire are so numerous and horrible that one cannot begin to fathom the intensity, but to reflect on the intricate detail that is laid out in the Quran and the hadith one must really think that yes it is really that bad. For the people who believe in Allah Subhannahu Wa T’ala and must go to the Hellfire it will be a torture for them may Allah Subhannahu Wa T’ala shorten it for them. For the others the door is closed when the last of those leave and they will not be heard from again. Subhannallah I seek refuge from being amongst those or even coming close to those people.

I had thought to remove myself from the world and move to Montana somewhere where I could live and only come into contact with humans in very limited transactions so that I may devote myself to prayer and fasting, and ensuring myself that I would not harm another human being by my words and actions. Surely such a path is a good path, but it is not the Sunnah of the Prophet Peace and Blessings be upon him. I don’t know if there would ever come after me any rewards that I would receive other than what I prayed so if my prayer was somehow deficient then all my deeds would be lost and I would not have any other deeds to help me. In reading this my issues with Child A seem small and trivial in reference to achieving a high station on the Day of Judgement. In fact I began to reflect that we are not Prophets and Messengers on the Earth, but we are parents and our children would be our Ummah. For some the Ummah loves them and they love them. For others the Ummah hates them and they hate their Ummah. Some parents are remembered with reverence, and others are forgotten. For a parent’s Ummah to benefit them they must remember them in their prayers. I reflect on my Grandfather and I fall into sorrow because I did not give him the Dawah of Islam. I fear that he was a good man and a Godly man, but he died on the Deen of his slavemasters. So I worry for him because of Allah’s saying that He forgives not that He should be joined in worship with anything else. I cannot pray for him so that his good deeds extend beyond his graveyard years. I had wished that he would have taken the Shahada. Then I would have been able to increase his blessing on the Day of Retribution. I can only pray that my parents take the Shahada so that myself and my grandchildren can pray for them and they can have their good deeds increased on that horrible day.

My Relief is here so I must go.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Blog name changed

I thought I had to be a little more anonymous. There are millions of Muhammad's on earth I could be anyone.

Isn't she lovely?

This is my wife she is completely gorgeous. Here we are at paradise park in Hawaii. That's not the real name but that is what the locals call it. I know that you can't see her but that is the whole point. The only person that gets to bask in the beauty of a Muslimah is her HUBSAND. It is a position that I cherish. I Love her so much she is so cute. Anyway this is her and I love her very much. She is absolutely beautious. Posted by Picasa

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Illegal immigrants

Ok so people are so-called complaining about the illegal immigrants that come into this country and the fact that they have actually had the audacity to protest unfair treatment. I feel that either we as Americans shut up or face the capitalistic fact that illegal immigrants aren't going anywhere anytime soon, because of the sheer economic repercussions that would deny the ridiculously wealthy their over exaggerated profits. If we have learned nothing we should know that wealthy persons in this country are not about to relinquish their profits for such things as doing the right thing. That would be immoral. So the illegal immigrants are going to stay. They have always been here and they will continue to do so, it is just a fact of life. Now as poor Americans what one should do is lobby to have the employers of said persons fork over cost of living taxes to keep them in this country. That however would undoubtedly trickle down to the rest of us that pay taxes. I think we just have to be realistic about the whole situation.

On the tax thing and social programs in particular I feel that the poor people take care of each other and the wealthy don’t contribute anything into the system. Then they have the audacity to complain that we aren’t pulling our weight when the projections of the system failing become apparent. It is not failing they just aren’t paying their money. I can guarantee you that if the Rockefeller family types paid their taxes by themselves then there would not be a need for anyone else in America to pay taxes including illegal immigrants. If they paid and the rest of us paid then there wouldn’t be a need for health insurance for basic healthcare at all.

In Islam there is a thing called Zakat where 2.5% of a person’s un-circulated wealth is taxed. It is not an oppressive amount everyone can afford it and if paid everyone would have all of their needs met. It is just simply oppressive to have to pay 33% or 50% of your earnings in taxes. That is ridiculous, simply just ridiculous. So for all those people who think that Islam is oppressive should ask themselves what is better 33% or more or 2.5% across the board for everyone rich or poor?

Well that’s my rant. Actually there is a P.S. Since we know that illegal immigrants will always be with us as they are a part of an intricate economic network, what is this nonsense about terrorist. If you are not worried about one group of people pouring into the country then what the hell gives you the right to worry about another if nothing other than to buttress a false fear of Islam and self-righteously validate killing hundreds of women and children and scores of other innocent persons. Americans are such hypocrites when it comes to many of these issues. WTF over. The sad thing is that the average American has no idea that they are being manipulated like a pawn for the bidding of the corporate elite. Wake up America and think for yourself.