Thursday, June 29, 2006

Here she is my future wife :)

It wouldn't post with the last post so here she is. I think she's a cheaper
choice and she won't make me take out the trash. :)
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Blogging with my Treo.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Can't believe it

Ok so I get off work and high tail it to the freeway and what do I find a
parking lot and they just closed the HOV lane. Dang!
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Blogging with my Treo.

Nothing like a hissy fit

There’s nothing like throwing a massive hissy fit to gain a moment of reflection to show you just how petty you are. There’s no doubt that I’m upset at the prospect of not being able to fully enjoy my 31 days off with my kids and wife on vacation. I have two credit cards totaling $2000.00 when paid off in full which is what I had wanted to have, but as things go those bastards are still almost maxed out. Now it is a shame that the hopelessness of financial reality really makes me serious about my prayers, but that is when the moment of reflection came to me. I can’t control how much money the Creator gives me even if I work ardently for it, but at the same time I am not doing anything additional for it right now except hoping that I don’t have to spend extra money, which is a lose-lose battle. I am ashamed to see that it would take something like money or lack thereof to make me reflect on my Deen. I thought about it earlier, but I really become motivated when I’m broke. It would seem that the Creator would always keep me broke then I would not have to worry so much about getting into heaven because my worship focus would be on my Deen.

 

Money is something you need today just in case you don’t die tomorrow ~ Martin Sheen in Wall Street. It is an easy obsession to become enveloped in. Had I managed my time wisely I would have amassed a really large nest egg in my youth before I got married so that would be one less thing to frigging worry about. Maybe I’ll wait until my youngest is 7 and then work my fingers to the bone to make a little money so that I don’t have to check the bank account the next time I want to do something. The thing about life is that everything is available to you, at a cost.

 

The fastest way to make money and keep it is through real estate, but it is steeped in Riba, so maybe it will be something else. Hmm I will see. I will find something because now I’m looking.

The see-saw in the journey to Polygamy.

If you have been following since I don’t know March or something you will know that this journey has been back and forth between me and my wife in standard soap opera fashion. I have learned quite a bit about my wife and her feelings and justifications for things. I know that there are instances where she doesn’t mind at all the interactions between me and a sisterwife and then there are instances where she is completely uncomfortable with the whole concept. If any of you all are embarking on a similar journey I’m sure that you will find that things sometimes go back and forth. Like with her ultimatums about the idea, sometimes she’s emphatic about them and other times she is very lax regarding them. I think that this has to do with her emotional state at the time. I think when she is feeling very confident with our relationship she is very lax and when she has feelings of insecurities she is very stringent. Frankly I don’t think her “guidelines” are carved in stone, but when I do she accuses me as trying to persuade her. I don’t feel that this is the case I’m just trying to be realistic about the situation.

 

At the end of the day however one must look at the stark realities when the honeymoon is over. There will still be bills and lots of them. There will still be other issues that one cannot control in reference to the lifestyle, external stressors that really just get in the way. Things that will undoubtedly make you ask yourself what in the hell was I thinking? I don’t worry as much about all of the arguing that is leading up to the situation, I worry more about the situation after it is all said and done. The paying bills, the buying diapers, gas, car notes, house notes, hair, nails, vacations, in-laws. So much real life things to think about that really bring your focus out of significance of the little things that concerns all wives involved. So where my wife may be concerned if I’m more drawn to long flowing hair, or weight, or earning capacity, in reality the only thing I’m concerned about is paying the bills and keeping everyone happy. Significant things that women usually don’t tune in on, however these are the things that most men focus on in monogamous relationships and the same things that piss women off when the man’s attention is diverted from anything other than her. I can’t imagine that it would become any easier with more people involved. I would like to think that I am thinking realistically about the whole situation. Irregardless of whether my ideal wife is added or my wife’s there are some real issues that are going to have to be addressed. Most men that I have heard about that get involved in plural marriage are either too rich to be concerned about the needs or wants of the wives or too controlling to care. Even that isn’t true though because there are men like Martin who from all appearances doesn’t fit in either category.

 

My wife commented on my last post and at the end I was like screw it we just won’t get a sisterwife because that’s the safest and most peaceful option. The situation is all intangible so there aren’t any real issues to argue over so why insert added fights based upon an imaginary situation? Why? I guess supposedly you are supposed to have ground rules so I quickly took a decision t-chart and tried to align the points where both our ideals align without conflict. So here they are:

 

  1. Has to be Sunni Muslim of sound Deen.
  2. Attitude towards Deen has to be sound.
  3. Has to wear Hijab.
  4. Has to be committed to prayer.
  5. Has to be submissive or non-argumentative there is a better way of saying this I just don’t know what it is. We are not looking for a mindless automatron. I guess the best way to say it is someone that is not going to come in and disrupt an already delicate situation by her inherent personality. Do you know what I mean? Because all women will undoubtedly have their moments, and that’s cool just not everyday.
  6. Committed to our family as a whole (which means integrating her family into ours if she has children).
  7. Willing to share one house.
  8. Extra bonus willing to share the same bed.
  9. Has to enjoy sex.

 

My wife can comment on any points that I forgot that we both agree on. I feel some of the other issues are superficial at best, other issues are valid, but can be dealt with on both sides. Like the issue of children I can understand that bringing additional children into the relationship can swing the pendulum either way. If the sisters have developed a close bond then it could work to strengthen the relationship. If they remain adversarial it adds permanence to a hostile situation. I feel that the character of the individual far outweighs issues with weight, race or occupation. In a relationship I feel that character is most important. If a person’s character is intact then the rest of them falls into place, or can be reasonably dealt with.

 

Now when it comes to me dealing with my wife’s phobias about me and the women that I would invite into our family I’m kind of at a loss for a couple of reasons. For one when it comes to Muslimas I’m really out of the loop because our religion doesn’t allow socialization between women and men. Furthermore I’m kind of a social recluse so the prospect of me meeting a woman is really slim to none. So that is an aspect that I really don’t understand, I can respect her position and fear but I don’t understand the plausibility of it. As far as the non-Muslims that I may happen to associate with I feel that is a dead issue because under no circumstances would I seriously consider a non-Muslim for a module in my family for reasons that I have stated earlier. There are many beautiful women out there that aren’t Muslim, but with me when the Muslima steps on the scene it is a no-contest. My wife has cautioned me about my interactions with the baby’s mother of the child we watch (there isn’t a word in the English language for this strangely I was kind of thinking baby-satter or something because that’s kind of stupid) and I’m like no I don’t think so.

 

In the mean time though I can fantasize about what I would really want and enjoy the family that I have now and most earnestly follow the advice of the Prophet (SAAW) “When you are out and see a beautiful woman, then come home and make love to your wife.” If everyone followed this advice then there would probably be a lot less infidelity in the world. Probably.

The Redhead asleep on watch.

There's this girl at work that sleeps on the Mids. If caught she could get
in massive trouble & I guess so could I because of the whole senior petty
officer thing, but for the record I do wake her.
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Blogging with my Treo.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t very fuzzy was he?

I read this article on askmen.com that said that a threesome can ruin your relationship. Well come to find out that it is most probable. I learned a few things in my wife’s moment of submission so to speak and her regaining it. I found out that the mold of the only acceptable woman in her eyes is overweight, un-educated (as in lack of higher degree, not as in bone stupid) can’t have children, submissive, low earning potential (non-professional), wears hijab and adheres to the Deen, and of course is willing to cook, clean and watch kids while she goes to work. So I’m like hmm. Anything outside of this box is threatening. Surprisingly when her friend/housemate was having a breakdown the other day she asked me to marry her. Coinky dinkally she fits almost all of the qualities except the kid having part. My wife asked me in a state of heightened emotions, but she assures me that she was serious. Fortunately for me the sister is already married, albeit in a significantly fragile relationship, but married nonetheless.

So I had to think about this prospect of the whole co-wife thing. On the one hand my wife has reluctantly said that I can choose a sisterwife however I must be willing to deal with the consequences that arise if it doesn’t go very well. On the other hand I’m faced with an obese person with undoubtedly self esteem issues. In my opinion I reckon that since I’m happy with my wife and my life that I should just leave well enough alone and stay with my one wife and live happily ever after. The caveat is that my wife still has the reserve to foist upon me the wife of her choosing at anytime. So if I were an unstable person I suppose the best thing to do would be to jump the gun and pick for myself and let the chips fall where they fall. However this is foolish and imposing an imaginary situation upon a real one.

My wife however desperately thinks that I will never be fully satisfied until I have two women. This is something that they were saying in the article. Once the subject is breached it will always be a point of contention in the family especially if the woman is not game for it. My situation is very complex because my wife isn’t entirely opposed to the idea. In fact there are certain circumstances that she would welcome it. So it isn’t totally out of the question, but at the same time it is not totally in either. So I’m left to try and psychoanalyze my wife and find out what is a peaceful solution. If I say no altogether then I am open to having a wife pushed upon me, which would undoubtedly at some point make me angry and lash out in some way unconsciously especially if finances weren’t in order (undoubtedly I would deal with it peacefully though, but it would change the family dynamic, but then any addition would). I don’t know I just feel that I don’t want to be stuck in a situation that I’m not comfortable with.

Now my ideal woman is probably the exact opposite of what my wife is looking for an independent self thinker, fit (not necessarily small, but fit) attractive, can have and wants kids, educated and professional at whatever her occupation is, serious and learned in religion. The religion thing is very important to me because I want my children to be Muslim and if you do the whole I’m in love with him so I’m going to convert thing then it isn’t true or it has a chance of not being true and sustainable and the possibility of going back to whatever she was before is greater. Then that makes for a whole new nightmare with the children and I don’t want to go through that again. So argumentation of the religion thing is out of the question.

Being that both of our ideal situation is diametrically opposed it is easy for me to list all of her reasons as faults, but that would not be fair. I realize that it is important for any first wife to feel a certain safety when a second wife comes along. I know that my wife lists the qualities that she has listed because they are non-conflictual to her. If the sister is overweight while she is smaller in frame, the sister is uneducated while she has an advanced degree. The sister is unable to have children etcetera all of these points presumably point to a connection or perceived superiority of one over the other however for a plural marriage to work there has to be an acceptance of each individual upon their own merits and aspects that they can bring to the relationship. If one side is arrogant and controlling it will naturally create a hostile relationship. My wife is very keen to the things that she is threatened by as far as qualities of women are concerned and I can understand that she doesn’t feel that she should have to compete in her own house. I feel that even if you married two identical people there will be snippets of things that one person will naturally be inclined to and do better than the other. Ultimately I think that the focus is on how I treat them together and separately is key to a happy union. For if I married my wife’s ideal woman and she got all of the loving and attention because she was home with the kids then my wife would feel that whatever she was bringing to the table wasn’t good enough etcetera. So there is a balance and acceptance that has to take place in order for the relationship to work.

I don’t know where we are now with the whole notion. I believe that it is irrevocably on hold. My wife has some other hang ups as well. One is race no races with long flowing hair which I find amusing. No light complexioned peoples. I think that both reasons are is ridiculous hang ups but everybody is entitled to their preferences. I believe that I know where it comes from though. When African-Americans are raised we have drilled into our heads what is good and what isn’t, good hair is straight and long, bad hair is nappy, light skin is better than dark etcetera, so it would go that my wife wouldn’t want to compete with any of these qualities on a regular personal basis. I can understand that.

Thank God for Word. The little boy that I’m watching pressed the big silver button on my laptop (The on/off switch) and shut down the computer, but because Word autosaves I’m back in action. I say again Word, Word, Word other wise this whole post up to this point would have been lost.

Like I said though I can understand how she feels the way that she does about some stuff and I can empathize with her on most of her issues. I feel however until I make enough money a year that the whole thing is a mute issue. I think that it is a great fantasy however I don’t see it becoming a reality in this lifetime. I think that the sheer impossibility of finding someone that will fit into our family is grossly remote. So the monogamous is our only lifestyle for the rest of our lives it seems and I’m happy with that.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Fuzzy Wuzzy really isn't fuzzy was he?

So the latest low down. I read this article on askmen.com that stated that a threeway can ruin your relationship.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Screeeech!!!!!

Well that was short lived. Men will never understand why women say stuff that they don't mean and why they sound so convincing doing it. I should have known better than to think that my wife was ok with me choosing a second wife for our relationship. It is still quasi-open but not really. My wife confided in me that women outside of her paradigm for a sisterwife. My wife is concerned that some of the communication and things that we brought up earlier would stop now that the whole second wife thing is on hold. With my wife it is on again and off again and I have learned to deal with that. It's all good. I didn't know that it hurt her feelings to know that I would look though, but her insecurities are too great to open that particular door of me just being wide open. I can understand to be honest with you I found that going on matrimonial sites was just depressing and impersonal. When and if it ever happens with us I want it to be a seamless slipping into a silk suit (that's one size too big too ensure no snags) you know what I mean. If it will happen I think that it will come at a time when it is needed most.

When I came home I was supposed to get some nuk-nuk but the sister was having some marital issues, so my wife had to do some counseling. I went on the marriage sites when they were talking. After that I went to sleep only to have them come in and get a second opinion, so what ever napping I was doing was out of the window. The sister and the brother keep going through this up and down about leaving and staying it is like the blood force of their relationship or something. I basically told the sister that her and her husband need to establish some ground rules if they are going to make it work. He needs to not talk about her weight at all and she needs to do what ever he needs to smooth things out and they need to stick with it. In short they are staying together, there are some other issues around it but my girls are crying and my kids haven't eaten and my wife is sleepy so I gotta go.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Stupid is as Stupid does

Ok the 7 dudes that were going to blow up the Sears tower were really stupid. WTF were they thinking. Dude it would be cool to blow something up. Fortunately they couldn't afford a bus ticket between them to blow up an ant pile. Like I said before terrorism is stupid and the people that they seek to inflict pain upon are rarely affected if at all. The only people who are consistenly affected are the poor people. They lose their jobs, and pensions and stuff the wealthy people just move on to the next gig.

Deen Meter

If you've been reading my post for some time you will probably notice that my language has hit the gutter and the graphic nature of my post has intensified. Well I attribute that to my level of Deen. When it is low like now I watch more television and listen to music and my language takes a turn for the worst. I also read less Quran and dhikr (reflect on God) less actively. When my Deen is up I watch much less television and my language gets better because I'm actively reflecting on what I do and say.

So If I've offended you I apologize. I plan on shifting soon because there is no point in searching for a new wife with a Deen at a low. I've got some Deen work to do before I can actively start looking.

The Big Pay Off

So this guilt thing is really getting to my wife. So we were out and got glasses for both her and my daughter because theirs was long since broken. So now the squinty pair is outfitted with new specs. We pick them up on Tuesday. We were supposed to get a set today but due to technical difficulties we didn’t, more on that to follow. So my wife is outside cleaning the car and everything because the cars are crap magnets for all kinds of stuff. Cars and cleanliness many a good man fail. Anyway I call her into the boudoir for a fresh romping before I have to go to work. She declines as is the usual coy trickery. I normally get a couple of declines before the yes. So she’s saying no and I’m calling her to come in and we cat and mouse back and forth. So she finally says yes and now I just have to wait until she gets off the phone with the boys mother that she is babysitting. In the time it takes her to get off the phone and get in the room I fall fast asleep. If she didn’t make so much noise coming into the room I would have just been asleep, but she roused me so it was on. Incidentally I used all of her words from the previous day to get her to come into the room. “Am I using you for sex, I feel that I’m forcing you” and some juicy others she said. I’m a man though so I tell her yes I am using you for sex so get in here. LOL.

So she comes in and she says that she wishes that she had a co-wife cause this would be one of those instances where she says look hun I’m busy can you go in and see about his needs could you please. I laugh, but I have all of my wife right before me and so she smacks me with “do you want me to find you a co-wife before I go to Yemen” I’m like Whoa nelly. She spouts off a sisters name when I ask her who and I’m like no that sister won’t do cause her kids are older and off the chain so no juice there. The one internet sister she met won’t do either cause of something that I’m not going to go into. Then I tell her that nevermind I’ll find one. Then she says okay. So I’m like whoooaaaaaa!!! (In my head though I have to focus on the tits I mean task at hand.) Now of course this goes against everything that she says she was comfortable with and it is like a blank page. That includes all kinds of women that adhere to the basic criteria. Muslim, serious about her Deen, Wears Hijab, prays without prompting and some others that I will list in another post. This green-light though supposedly opens the door to children, age, race, profession etcetera. I know that my wife confided this in me in a time of turmoil within herself so I’m not jumping the gun to run out and grab the first hijab wearing hussy that walks into the Masjid this potential green-light makes the search more rigorous and stringent I think. If I am to be entrusted in picking her out I need to be extra careful and keep things objective. It is a relief though and I am excited to begin the search.

Thinking back though I probably would be more immediately satisfied with the camera that I want or that BMW Bike, but this is good, very good. Very, very very very very good.

My wife just called my while I was blogging so I'm expecting a good conversation over this.

My my my where has all of the time gone. You see when you don't blog for a minute all of the juicy tidbits of life mount up so that necessitates a humongous blog effort. Thus would be the case today. So there ain't crap on the tele at work. I was watching a good flick but this massive Thunder storm is blowing overhead and it knocked out the Direct TV which only makes me believe that cable is better than the dish. That and the fact that they are particularly stingy with their bandwith. I can understand that they have to be, but that's another story. I only watch the tele at work anyway.

So we recap. Ya Allah I should have did this days ago. So where do we start. My wife and I have a heart to heart. She tells me that she was being nice to our house guest to of all things get at me so that I would know how it would feel to lose her. That's not really the reason its kind of hard to explain but the short and skinny is to put me in a situation so that I could appreciate what I have. It is an outstanding concept in theory and could probably be pulled off with professional actors completely innoculous to the situation but this is not so the case. These people are living in our home and the brother has already expressed an affinity towards my wife A; and B; he is put off by his wife because she is overweight and not as sweet and soft as my wife is. So stir the pot a little and boom sparks fly.

The brother now is thinking that there may possibly be a chance for him and my wife. (Not over my dead body). My wife has this affect on men and women apparently. I was going to blog a couple of days ago and title it "What is it with Millionaires and my wife" due to the fact that she has divulged that yet another Millionaire has expressed all of the stuff they would buy for her "if only". I'm totally not worried about this mostly because it is far and impersonal, however this situation is right under my nose.

So she tells me this and I am feeling like I've been stabbed in the back, but it is okay because I love her like I have loved no one else before. I forgive her this short coming and I know that it is not going to rock my marriage at all. We talk about it only briefly after that and we really didn't go into much detail. I can't

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Evil seeds breed Evil Weeds.

My my my where has all of the time gone. You see when you don't blog for a minute all of the juicy tidbits of life mount up so that necessitates a humongous blog effort. Thus would be the case today. So there ain't crap on the tele at work. I was watching a good flick but this massive Thunder storm is blowing overhead and it knocked out the Direct TV which only makes me believe that cable is better than the dish. That and the fact that they are particularly stingy with their bandwith. I can understand that they have to be, but that's another story. I only watch the tele at work anyway.

So we recap. Ya Allah I should have did this days ago. So where do we start. My wife and I have a heart to heart. She tells me that she was being nice to our house guest to of all things get at me so that I would know how it would feel to lose her. That's not really the reason its kind of hard to explain but the short and skinny is to put me in a situation so that I could appreciate what I have. It is an outstanding concept in theory and could probably be pulled off with professional actors completely innoculous to the situation but this is not so the case. These people are living in our home and the brother has already expressed an affinity towards my wife A; and B; he is put off by his wife because she is overweight and not as sweet and soft as my wife is. So stir the pot a little and boom sparks fly.

The brother now is thinking that there may possibly be a chance for him and my wife. (Not over my dead body). My wife has this affect on men and women apparently. I was going to blog a couple of days ago and title it "What is it with Millionaires and my wife" due to the fact that she has divulged that yet another Millionaire has expressed all of the stuff they would buy for her "if only". I'm totally not worried about this mostly because it is far and impersonal, however this situation is right under my nose.

So she tells me this and I am feeling like I've been stabbed in the back, but it is okay because I love her like I have loved no one else before. I forgive her this short coming and I know that it is not going to rock my marriage at all. We talk about it only briefly after that and we really didn't go into much detail. I can't really remember what else happened that day. Ah that's not true we put a bandage on it with a discussion. I have to talk about this a little because it wasn't like a normal discussion it was what I would call talking sex. I was inside of her and we were just talking it was very cool. Occasionaly I would move a little and as the conversation subsided the thrusting picked up until climax it was very unique and nice. So then I wash up and went to work where I coded some of our application that crashed. Yes that is what happened our MS Access database that we use to keep all of our logs in totally crashed at least the visual basic side of it. Apparently the application at the server shut down or lost power skipped a beat some how and my application issued a command and it got garbled and crashed the application. So then it told me that the Visual Basic for applications project is corrupt. Well if you program in access if you get this error you will know why back-ups are so important, because Microsoft's answer to this is "yeah it happens... Sometimes". Then you are like what about my code and it's like bye-bye. Pissed to say the least. My job called me at home with this nonsense, because I'm the only one that can fix it. Isn't it great to be loved. I don't know why they insist on pissing me off, kind of makes me want to put a time bomb in the application, but I digress. So we talked, it was great I didn't get to go back to sleep though damn.

So I am at work programming and such it was cool pretty laid back. I really can't remember much else. No I was trying to watch Last Holiday with Queen Latifah and LL Cool J and my wife calls me to discuss the "situation" because she's feeling guilty of course. Naughty Naughty girl. Of course she calls right in the middle of the movie. Now girls when guys are really into something they are not in the mode to go over deep emotional issues they just aren't we don't multitask like that. So I'm hoping that the chat will be short so that I can go back to my movie. Of course no such luck it's a big one. So I've got to stop my movie and everything. Bogus, but it's for a good cause, besides I can always rent the movie again. So I shut everything down and focus. She's sorry about what she has done and of course now she wants to make steps about how to prevent further incidents from happening between the two. It is no consolation to have the brothers wife around because apparently the wife wants my wife all to herself also, I have yet to understand the full dynamics of their relationship. Although I have an imagination.

So anyway my wife and I get into this deep conversation about what happened and the feelings involved on her side and my side and speculated what the brother may be feeling etcetera. I told her how I feel the feelings of men evolve and how the Shaytan (Satan) places people into situations that they wake up from and are like WTF how and the hell did I get here. It starts with small things and simple things that don't mean much and then things that mean a little bit more if you throw in a little bit of shame then before you know it BAM your doing Sh*t that you never thought you could do and how Shaytan hooks you is he says that you can never go back, you can never get in good with God again after that crap you just pulled, but he's lying. At least as far as God is concerned people are less forgiving. So we discussed the slippery slope at length. Then we discussed the new restrictions placed on our living arrangements. She is to stay out of the brothers face and all would be copacetic. This basically means that the only interactions that she has with him are the Salaams and that's pretty much it. So no visits to their room, and no other limited interactions. Cool everything is good in the hood. I hang up pray Fajr get relieved and watch the rest of my movie. Cool beans.

Thank Allah for my Treo and my Shure head sets without them I would probably be on the side of the road. A couple of days ago I had my laptop at work and I downloaded a batch of songs onto my Treo mostly because I hadn't had any sleep and I knew that I was going to need some staying awake music. So thanks to Rage against the machine I was able to make it home in one piece. Quick snack in the kitchen get my daughter with the bedwetting problem up to go to the potty and then I'm off to bed.

Now when I get home to sleep it is always the same story. Ah baby I'm going to let you sleep and sometimes that is successful and sometimes it ain't. I'm butt tired so I crash. I wake to my wife bringing my daughter into the room to sleep. I take her and lay her down and luckily she stays asleep otherwise I would be watching her at a time when I'm supposed to be sleeping. Now my wife is out in the front room getting beat up by Billy Blanks (I gotta get in on that amazon associate program) any way she's kicking away in the front room. I cannot get back to sleep now so I take some time to read Quran and stretch. My wife comes in at the end of my stretch and wants me to join her in the shower. I'm moving kind of slow because I'm a nasty fat bastard that eats waaaay too much sugar, I've just finished reading Quran so I have to switch gears. My wife senses this and starts to build a complex that she's using me for sex, which is absolutely ridiculous. Are you kidding me all of my life I've been wanted to be used for sex, No complaints here. So things are slow going at first but we had to relocate to the bedroom floor so as to save hotwater for when it's really needed. To put it bluntly peacefully situated on the floor my wife f**ked my brains out. There is really no other way to put it. There's sex, love making and flat out f**king. She f**ked me it was really good. So after I chose to work out myself and didn't shower right away. I was going to go running because if you're a fat bastard like me there is nothing that will shed pounds faster than running regularly.

I gotta stop and go pray only 45 minutes left of watch.

Fun at Chuck's

Who cares who wins as long as it's fun.
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Blogging with my Treo.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Things to do in your car alone

Singing Whitney's I will always love you really loud and off key.
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Blogging with my Treo.

Angry mob wisdom

Terrorism like riots seldom affect the guilty.
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Blogging with my Treo.

Voting and the democratic process.

Democracy is an institution too important to be relinquished to the hands of people like you.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Why I could never date a hollywood actress.

I have thought about this story for sometime. You know that people sometimes wish that they could be a star and stuff so they could kiss all the beautiful women stars and stuff. Well not me. I think that this would be a funny Dave Chappelle skit. I don't know how this will come out but in my mind it is funny.

The players.


Ron Jeremy ~ Nasty ass porn star extraordinaire.





Anne Hathaway ~ The hot babe. (picked mostly because I just saw her nips in Havoc) pretty hot.






Justin Long ~ The up and coming Actor







Ethan Hawke ~ The supporting successful actor friend. I don't know if they know each other but works for the skit.





Pan of really big sumptuous cinnamon rolls














I've never written a script before so here it goes.

Scene 1:
Open up on set with the hustle and bustle of set workers working going back and forth and through a plastic curtain dividing sets walks our two main characters.

Ethan: Wow Justin this really is a great role for you it is not everyday that a budding actor gets entrusted with a love scene of this magnitude.

Justin: Yeah I hope that I don't get the willies and goof up.

Ethan: It's gonna be okay I mean just be natural.

Justin: Well naturally I suck at such things

Ethan: Well just think about all of the great love scenes you've seen and use that as a cue.

Justin: I think I can do it. I mean Anne is such a beautiful woman. Hey smell my breath am I okay?

Ethan: I'm not smelling your breath dude you're gonna be fine. Anne is pretty choice. I wish it was me.

Justin: Yeah but it's not and laughs.

The two guys continue to small talk as they walk towards the love scene set.

Scene 2:
In a trailer on the set there is a knock on the door.
Anne: Who is it.

Ron: It's me I have something special for you.

Anne: Oh did you bring em'?

Ron: Yeah!

Anne: Come on in.

Rounding the corner comes Ethan and Justin just as Ron is entering the trailer.

Justin: Hey who's that?

Ethan: Looks like Ron Jeremy.

Justin: The porn star?

Ethan: Yeah.

Justin: [looking concerned] I wonder what's going on.

Ethan: Let's check it out.

The two run over to the trailer and listen in.

[inside the trailer]

Anne: Oh my god Ron it feels heavy.

Ron: Yeah it's a hand full. [he eyes Anne motioning towards the bathroom]
[inside the bathroom Ron is disrobing zipper sounds and belt jingling]

Ron: Go ahead baby and pull it out.

Anne: God Damn Ron it's huge is all of this for me?
[Ethan has look of disgust on his face and Justin looking perplexed]
[Ron grunting on the throne]

Ron: Oh yeah

Anne: Dang Ron I don't know if I can get it all in my mouth. It's so warm.

[Ron sounding relieved]

Anne: I feel so bad and right before my shoot too. I wonder if Justin will be able to taste it? It's so sweet and thick.

Ron: Oh here comes the big one...

[Ethan holding his mouth and Justin looking disgusted]

Ron: [Screams out in ecstasy as the big one passes]

Anne: Oh God Ron it is so much I can't believe I took it all.

Ron:[attempts to flush the stool but it's broken] Hey I'm sorry about that massive load. But it's...

Anne: Don't worry about it. It's not my trailer. Oh my god Ron that was so good. I mean it was everything that I had dreamed it would be. It was big and hot and creamy and it got all over my hands and face oh god I felt like such a dirty girl for sucking it all down. Wow.

Ron: Yeah and now you look like a dirty girl. Glad I could be of service. You better get cleaned up for your shoot.

Anne: It was so much I'll bet Justin will be able to taste it.

[Ron exits the trailer sweating from taking a massive dump. He looks Justin in the face gives him one of those I've just got off smiles and then departs]

[Ethan and Justin look at each other with mouths agape in disgust]

[Exit Anne from the trailer in dramatic slow motion to show her full luscious lips. Ethan and Justin straighten up like they weren't snooping and smile]

Anne: Hey Justin are you ready for the shoot. [She's smiling big and looking rather saucy]

Justin:[stammering] Yeah I'm all for it.

Ethan:[smiling and looking slightly distant] Hey Anne you've got a little something..[He's motioning at the creamy looking substance on the side of her mouth]

Anne: Oh yeah [and seductively licks it off with her tongue] See you on set Justin. [Anne departs]

Ethan: Dude that's disgusting. I'm glad its not me. [pats Justin on the back and departs]

[End Skit focused on Justin's face of disbelief/disgust]

So this is the kind of thing I think about when I think collectively about hollywood actresses. So I couldn't date one.

Lucky Louie

Ok so I’m watching this show Lucky Louie on HBO it’s a sitcom type of show. A brash working class all in the family type of show but only much cruder. So the subject of the night is the husband Louie and his wife what’s her face are having sexual problems. Not only him but his neighbor can’t make his wife cum either. They are having all of this discussion about it and everything. So I’m looking at this and I’m like this concept is so far from any reality I’ve ever experienced, I’m just sitting baffled wondering does this really happen? Can a man and a woman that have sex not be able to climax? Now I’ve heard of instances where you cum to fast for the guy and that is excusable. I mean when you are a teenager stealing nuts it happens quite often, but blessed with a hotel room it is quite a different story.

 

I mean with oral sex, and foreplay and communication there should be no problem getting a woman to climax. Anyway I was in disbelief about the whole thing.

 

Thank God we’ve been blessed in that department, who needs that stress.

 

Sorry Louie guess you’re not that lucky.

My Word Cloud


This is my word cloud that I picked up off of Jilbabble's blog I think it is pretty cool. Follow the link above to make one of your own.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Giving Shout outs

I'd like to thank my guests that read my blog often for coming back. Minneapolis, Houston, and Bell, CA, Victoria, TX and Ontario for coming back and checking up on me/us. Thank you it gives me encouragement to keep writing.

I hope to keep it interesting.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

I knew that you could do more

Here is a really cool site that you can get templates to change your blogger blog.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Yeeeehaaah!!!

You gotta love her.

Subtlely embarassing

Okay there were these two girls in Borders talking and chatting away. The the girls were black and white, attractive and looking fit in their twenties. So during the kid round-up I walk past where they were sitting. I glance at the rather large stack of books where the top one reads "How to please your man" or something like that. I couldn't help but to grimace and hold back an incredible urge to walk over and say "Just stick to the basics good food, great sex, and great communication (this would include when to hush) and viola a happy man". Men have simple desires that make us happy. It probably wouldn't be so bad, but upon inspection it appeared that the whole stack was on the same genre.

Decisive action

Ok the pile of clean unfolded clothes was officially too frigging big. I'm to damned lazy to fold them by myself so I enlisted paid help of the kiddos. Payment is based on performance. So the more clothes they fold then the more cash they get. Hopefully all of the clothes will be folded before we get home.

Ok this uninvited rider thing is starting to irratate me. Everytime we go somewhere I get "notified" that we will have more than the originally scheduled number of riders. I mean if you are invited somewhere then someone will say "hey would you like to go" and not the whole It's Incrediboy thing.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Subs holds reading time

Van has a K B moment

It's a fire truck brother! He had fun playing with this truck. There was one that was not in a box he probably would have loved, but the budget was $5 per kid so he was over budget.

No more BCGs

They are not perfect but definetly better.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Repressed anger

A lot of times we are ticking time bombs waiting to go off. My foster son did some trivial thing and I came down on him way too hard. He wasn't hurt or anything, but I was ashamed nonetheless. Anger and Frustration can be emotions that are easily abused. When pleasure is acheived in a state of anger it has gone too far. Patience is a virtue that if mastered will be a deciding factor in all human interactions. I pray for patience. For me it was easy to blame my interactions or lack thereof with my family the last three days on lack of sleep, but in reality it has been a deficiency of patience.

I believe these last three days I have transgressed every member of my family, I can only ask for their forgiveness.

I must remember my dhikr beads and keep them close.

AsSalaamu A'laikum

One more thing..

Okay back to the talk at Jumuah. The brother also said something that I have been keeping with me. He said that there are two types of believers. Those that are believers because intellectually it is a sound religion that agrees with the intellect and science, and those that are Muslim because they love Allah. He said they are both valid Muslim yes, but the intellectual Muslims will follow their religion until they reach a point and then they will stop, but the Muslims that believe for the sake, and love of Allah their faith will know no limits.

I contemplated this proposition and thought okay then what kind of Muslim am I? I am definetely the former type of Muslim. For me it all just makes sense and I rationalize a lot of things, and I am firm in my faith, but the spiritual side is the side that comes and goes. It increases and decreases and I wish that I could be closer to Allah because my heart was tied to longing for the Firdous but I'm just not that way. It is very difficult for me to keep on track and do the things that I know I should be doing, because I will eventually rationalize myself out of a good practice that I have began.

I pray to Allah that I can become a Muslim that does every action out of sincere devotion and love for Allah, because I know that this is the way. As an intellectual Muslim I keep tallies sort of you know like ok this action might wash out this sin sort of thing, but ultimately this is not where I wish to be. I pray that I can change my state, I hope that you all will pray for me as well.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

WTF??

Traffic sux! Traffic caused by rubbernecking sux even more!!

First audio blog an Introduction

this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, June 09, 2006

Muslim Wisdom for Thursday

This one really got me thinking.

Daily Muslim Reading
The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Umar bin al-Khattab
What I fear most for my people are the hypocrites, who talk wisely, yet act
unjustly.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Umar bin al-Khattab
___
Fight Terrorism... Refuse to be afraid!

Traffic sux

I can't stand traffic. I should have taken the express lane, you know the HOV, but noooo I had to do the right thing. Stupid.

Now we blog on the run.

Now I can blog on the run. These are the BCGs that I told you about. I'm comfortable posting this pic because I'm happily married. It is highly advised that if you are not in a secure relatioship to refrain from being seen on a bad hair day (or good one for that matter) with BCGs.

Extra added Bonus to the day




So I took my wife to work the other day and then I took the kids to Leesylvania state park where we saw some Deer, a woodchuck and this little guy. I keep thinking in my mind when I see him. "Fear the Turtle" that's the University of Maryland slogan.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Because I love you

Because I love you
The grass is greener
The air is cleaner
Crisp and fresh

There is nothing that I long for
No desire that I burn for
That I find not in your eye

Because I love you
I want to be better
Stay with you through whatever
My confidant and friend

With each day my love for you grows
Taller, Bigger and wide
No deeper than the ocean
unheard of devotion
Until the Earth is cleft

Throughout this life and into the next my love for you abounds

My wife, my life my faith and direction
I share and learn and grow

Together forever as we stand and bow and kneel
praying to Him above that what was broken will heal

And surely as we sit we see His promise is provident
For I can see with all of me our love is heaven sent

I love you Sakinah.

Fallacy of Racism

Ok before you go all off yes racism does still exists sometimes overtly and sometimes subtle, but its ugly head is still there. In our current times racism is being supplanted by creedism or conceptism where one people’s creed is seen as superior to others. Hence global terrorism, unwieldy capitalism, etcetera.

 

However specifically speaking about racism it is so odd that many of the proponents are actually the thing that they stand against. Hitler was in fact Jewish, the founder of the Nation of Islam was in most respects a white man, and so on and so forth. So now we have the tale of two women. Names excluded. The first woman hated Filipinos and constantly mocked them and carried on for years and years. So what happened? Her daughter gets pregnant by what else a Filipino, and so now she has a Filipino around at all times. I don’t think that she makes Filipino jokes anymore, but who knows. The second woman would go on and on about Mexicans. They’re this and that yadda yadda. So then what does she find out? Her grandfather was in fact a Mexican. Making her part Mexican LOL.

 

The fact is racism is stupid. People should be divided up upon their merits only, because among any peoples you will have riff-raff and unsavory people and you will have honorable and noble people with humility. I try to assess people for what they are because what truly matters is deep down inside and the interpersonal relationships that you have and develop with other human beings.

 

Just a thought.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Blockers A & B



Here they are the blockers A & B. Who needs contraceptives when these babies are always on the job. Relentlessly blocking every angle at all times day or night. Can a couple get a break.

No Balls!!

Well it appears that my relief is going to be late so here we go, it may get juicier later so still check back. So my wife and I steal away from the Blockers and head out to TGIF for a quick dinner. You know that relief of finally getting some alone time away from the kids. Well anyway my wife spends the whole night making me blush. Now with me I’m shy about public affection and my wife knows this I think she just likes making me squirm. I have no idea what I will do when I have two women grabbing my butt in public. When my wife does it I’m always like stoppit! She never does though, she always plays dumb with her beautiful brown eyes “did I do that?” look on her face. So we are out at TGIF and my wife is looking hot as usual. Now she’s Muslim mind you and even with the head scarf on and everything she is a show stopper. So we are sitting in the booth and she orders this shake with whipped cream on top. (She didn’t order the whipped cream it just comes that way) She asked about this other drink which the waitress brought over but it of course had alcohol in it so we had to turn it down. (No Alcohol and no pork you know how it goes) It looked really nice though it was a strawberry drink with hot chocolate or something sprinkled inside of it and of course whipped cream. So anyways we are sitting across from each other and she’s kneading my webels with her feet, no problem cause no one can see. Her shirt keeps popping open because she’s a D and it just can’t hold the twins. Mmm. So then she starts licking the whipped cream off of the drink with her tongue and so the blushing starts as the bar is the only thing that is open and guys can’t stop pissing. So there is always some half-drunk dude walking by. Grrr.

 

Anyways we finish up and leave, I’m thinking a beautifully flirtatious night and I’m going to open the door for her real romantic like, but no. She wants to get into the back of the Van. Now there are no seats in the back of the van there is nothing back there because of helping her friend move. Now this is something that I’ve done before but never with my wife. Now when I did do it I was teenish and was with my girlfriend and it was embarrassing. First of all we got busted by the cops, for the most part if other peeps spock you they just leave you alone but cops have to be all asinine about the situation. Now at the time my girlfriend was white and we were in a white part of town and in full congress this cop rolls up and busts us now that is not a problem but the cheap thrills part of the situation is that he keeps his damned flashlight on my girlfriend the entire time she is putting her clothes on in the car. Obviously this is not an event that I would like to repeat with my wife, but here we are. In the TGIF parking lot in front of the TGIF sign.

 

Ups my relief is here so I gotta go. To be continued.