Why I could never date a hollywood actress.
I have thought about this story for sometime. You know that people sometimes wish that they could be a star and stuff so they could kiss all the beautiful women stars and stuff. Well not me. I think that this would be a funny Dave Chappelle skit. I don't know how this will come out but in my mind it is funny.
The players.
Ron Jeremy ~ Nasty ass porn star extraordinaire.
Anne Hathaway ~ The hot babe. (picked mostly because I just saw her nips in Havoc) pretty hot.
Justin Long ~ The up and coming Actor
Ethan Hawke ~ The supporting successful actor friend. I don't know if they know each other but works for the skit.
Pan of really big sumptuous cinnamon rolls
I've never written a script before so here it goes.
Scene 1:
Open up on set with the hustle and bustle of set workers working going back and forth and through a plastic curtain dividing sets walks our two main characters.
Ethan: Wow Justin this really is a great role for you it is not everyday that a budding actor gets entrusted with a love scene of this magnitude.
Justin: Yeah I hope that I don't get the willies and goof up.
Ethan: It's gonna be okay I mean just be natural.
Justin: Well naturally I suck at such things
Ethan: Well just think about all of the great love scenes you've seen and use that as a cue.
Justin: I think I can do it. I mean Anne is such a beautiful woman. Hey smell my breath am I okay?
Ethan: I'm not smelling your breath dude you're gonna be fine. Anne is pretty choice. I wish it was me.
Justin: Yeah but it's not and laughs.
The two guys continue to small talk as they walk towards the love scene set.
Scene 2:
In a trailer on the set there is a knock on the door.
Anne: Who is it.
Ron: It's me I have something special for you.
Anne: Oh did you bring em'?
Ron: Yeah!
Anne: Come on in.
Rounding the corner comes Ethan and Justin just as Ron is entering the trailer.
Justin: Hey who's that?
Ethan: Looks like Ron Jeremy.
Justin: The porn star?
Ethan: Yeah.
Justin: [looking concerned] I wonder what's going on.
Ethan: Let's check it out.
The two run over to the trailer and listen in.
[inside the trailer]
Anne: Oh my god Ron it feels heavy.
Ron: Yeah it's a hand full. [he eyes Anne motioning towards the bathroom]
[inside the bathroom Ron is disrobing zipper sounds and belt jingling]
Ron: Go ahead baby and pull it out.
Anne: God Damn Ron it's huge is all of this for me?
[Ethan has look of disgust on his face and Justin looking perplexed]
[Ron grunting on the throne]
Ron: Oh yeah
Anne: Dang Ron I don't know if I can get it all in my mouth. It's so warm.
[Ron sounding relieved]
Anne: I feel so bad and right before my shoot too. I wonder if Justin will be able to taste it? It's so sweet and thick.
Ron: Oh here comes the big one...
[Ethan holding his mouth and Justin looking disgusted]
Ron: [Screams out in ecstasy as the big one passes]
Anne: Oh God Ron it is so much I can't believe I took it all.
Ron:[attempts to flush the stool but it's broken] Hey I'm sorry about that massive load. But it's...
Anne: Don't worry about it. It's not my trailer. Oh my god Ron that was so good. I mean it was everything that I had dreamed it would be. It was big and hot and creamy and it got all over my hands and face oh god I felt like such a dirty girl for sucking it all down. Wow.
Ron: Yeah and now you look like a dirty girl. Glad I could be of service. You better get cleaned up for your shoot.
Anne: It was so much I'll bet Justin will be able to taste it.
[Ron exits the trailer sweating from taking a massive dump. He looks Justin in the face gives him one of those I've just got off smiles and then departs]
[Ethan and Justin look at each other with mouths agape in disgust]
[Exit Anne from the trailer in dramatic slow motion to show her full luscious lips. Ethan and Justin straighten up like they weren't snooping and smile]
Anne: Hey Justin are you ready for the shoot. [She's smiling big and looking rather saucy]
Justin:[stammering] Yeah I'm all for it.
Ethan:[smiling and looking slightly distant] Hey Anne you've got a little something..[He's motioning at the creamy looking substance on the side of her mouth]
Anne: Oh yeah [and seductively licks it off with her tongue] See you on set Justin. [Anne departs]
Ethan: Dude that's disgusting. I'm glad its not me. [pats Justin on the back and departs]
[End Skit focused on Justin's face of disbelief/disgust]
So this is the kind of thing I think about when I think collectively about hollywood actresses. So I couldn't date one.
The players.
Ron Jeremy ~ Nasty ass porn star extraordinaire.
Anne Hathaway ~ The hot babe. (picked mostly because I just saw her nips in Havoc) pretty hot.
Justin Long ~ The up and coming Actor
Ethan Hawke ~ The supporting successful actor friend. I don't know if they know each other but works for the skit.
Pan of really big sumptuous cinnamon rollsI've never written a script before so here it goes.
Scene 1:
Open up on set with the hustle and bustle of set workers working going back and forth and through a plastic curtain dividing sets walks our two main characters.
Ethan: Wow Justin this really is a great role for you it is not everyday that a budding actor gets entrusted with a love scene of this magnitude.
Justin: Yeah I hope that I don't get the willies and goof up.
Ethan: It's gonna be okay I mean just be natural.
Justin: Well naturally I suck at such things
Ethan: Well just think about all of the great love scenes you've seen and use that as a cue.
Justin: I think I can do it. I mean Anne is such a beautiful woman. Hey smell my breath am I okay?
Ethan: I'm not smelling your breath dude you're gonna be fine. Anne is pretty choice. I wish it was me.
Justin: Yeah but it's not and laughs.
The two guys continue to small talk as they walk towards the love scene set.
Scene 2:
In a trailer on the set there is a knock on the door.
Anne: Who is it.
Ron: It's me I have something special for you.
Anne: Oh did you bring em'?
Ron: Yeah!
Anne: Come on in.
Rounding the corner comes Ethan and Justin just as Ron is entering the trailer.
Justin: Hey who's that?
Ethan: Looks like Ron Jeremy.
Justin: The porn star?
Ethan: Yeah.
Justin: [looking concerned] I wonder what's going on.
Ethan: Let's check it out.
The two run over to the trailer and listen in.
[inside the trailer]
Anne: Oh my god Ron it feels heavy.
Ron: Yeah it's a hand full. [he eyes Anne motioning towards the bathroom]
[inside the bathroom Ron is disrobing zipper sounds and belt jingling]
Ron: Go ahead baby and pull it out.
Anne: God Damn Ron it's huge is all of this for me?
[Ethan has look of disgust on his face and Justin looking perplexed]
[Ron grunting on the throne]
Ron: Oh yeah
Anne: Dang Ron I don't know if I can get it all in my mouth. It's so warm.
[Ron sounding relieved]
Anne: I feel so bad and right before my shoot too. I wonder if Justin will be able to taste it? It's so sweet and thick.
Ron: Oh here comes the big one...
[Ethan holding his mouth and Justin looking disgusted]
Ron: [Screams out in ecstasy as the big one passes]
Anne: Oh God Ron it is so much I can't believe I took it all.
Ron:[attempts to flush the stool but it's broken] Hey I'm sorry about that massive load. But it's...
Anne: Don't worry about it. It's not my trailer. Oh my god Ron that was so good. I mean it was everything that I had dreamed it would be. It was big and hot and creamy and it got all over my hands and face oh god I felt like such a dirty girl for sucking it all down. Wow.
Ron: Yeah and now you look like a dirty girl. Glad I could be of service. You better get cleaned up for your shoot.
Anne: It was so much I'll bet Justin will be able to taste it.
[Ron exits the trailer sweating from taking a massive dump. He looks Justin in the face gives him one of those I've just got off smiles and then departs]
[Ethan and Justin look at each other with mouths agape in disgust]
[Exit Anne from the trailer in dramatic slow motion to show her full luscious lips. Ethan and Justin straighten up like they weren't snooping and smile]
Anne: Hey Justin are you ready for the shoot. [She's smiling big and looking rather saucy]
Justin:[stammering] Yeah I'm all for it.
Ethan:[smiling and looking slightly distant] Hey Anne you've got a little something..[He's motioning at the creamy looking substance on the side of her mouth]
Anne: Oh yeah [and seductively licks it off with her tongue] See you on set Justin. [Anne departs]
Ethan: Dude that's disgusting. I'm glad its not me. [pats Justin on the back and departs]
[End Skit focused on Justin's face of disbelief/disgust]
So this is the kind of thing I think about when I think collectively about hollywood actresses. So I couldn't date one.
You are sooo funny.You should write for Dave Chapelle or something.I would say only you would think of something like this but then again people get paid big bucks for this stuff.So why are we broke again?
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