Saturday, September 08, 2007

Does a wife have to make Ghusl after Oral Sex?

People were asking that I really need to find out what the ruling is. After running around SunniPath for hours this is what I deduced. If you do not have a female ejaculation upon stimulating your husband then you do not have to perform Ghusl. He however will have to perform Ghusl. You will have to perform Wudu because you touched his private. Of all of the answers on SunniPath this is the one that is the closest to the circumstance in question.

Ghusl: unsure whether orgasm occurred
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, SunniPath Academy Teacher

(Newly married couple) Does a wife have to make a ghusl if she was stimulated by her husband, feeling wetness but not being sure if she fully experienced an orgasm?

So even if he cums and it gets on you then you only have to wash it off and make wudu. If anyone who reads this is in contact with any of those brothers from SunniPath and my deduction is incorrect then please let me know. Swallowing his Sperm is Highly Disliked, but it is not Haram. I know that one hits hard and really separates the spitters from the swallowers. If you enjoy swallowing for those who do it isn't Haram, but it is close to that edge so you have to decide where you want to take that. I have included the posts that I used to come to my deduction.

Fiqh 1.11: Sperm, Al-Mani

Some scholars say that sperm is impure, but apparently it is pure, for it is only recommended to wash it off if it is still wet, and to scratch it off if it is dry. Said 'Aishah, "I used to scratch the sperm off the Messenger of Allah's clothes if it was dry, and wash it off if it was still wet." (This is related by ad-Daraqutni, Abu 'Awanah and al-Bazzar). It is also related that Ibn 'Abbas said, "I asked the Messenger of Allah about sperm on clothes. He said, 'It is the same as mucus and spittle. It is sufficient to rub the area with a rag or cloth."'

The hadith was related by ad-Daraqutni, al-Baihaqi and atTahawi. There is a difference in the narration over whether it should be in marfu'or mauqoof form.

Bedroom Fiqh: Clarifications on a Previous Post
Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed

I recently read in one of your answers that it is permissible for husband and wife to stimulate each other by using their mouths and tongues on each other’s genitals. You then conditioned this permissibility by saying that, "Someone who does what has been mentioned above should avoid filth if it is present on the private parts." I have a number of questions on this point:

  1. By "should", do you mean it is obligatory to do so?
  2. Are ejaculate [m: Ar. maniyy, cf. Reliance, e10.4], pre-ejaculate [m: Ar. madhy, cf. Reliance, e10.5(1)], and other fluids that exit the male and female private parts included in what must be avoided?
  3. What exactly is meant by "avoid"? Does it mean not swallowing or does it also mean avoiding contact?
  4. If, by "avoid", you mean avoiding contact, then this effectively renders these acts forbidden since it is almost impossible to avoid contact with these fluids since pre-ejaculate (Ar. madhy), for example, will inevitably be present in such a situation.
  5. Are these acts disliked (makruh) or contrary to the sunnah?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله رب العالمين و صلى الله على سيدنا محمد و على آله و صحبه و سلم أما بعد

(1) Yes, it is obligatory to avoid filth (meaning to touch it when it is moist or when the one touching it is moist) except when one needs to. Otherwise, this would be considered smearing oneself with filth, which is forbidden.

(2) Ejaculate (Ar. maniyy) is pure, so it is not necessary to avoid. However, swallowing it is forbidden because it is considered repulsive. As for pre-ejaculate (Ar. madhy) and other fluids that exit the private parts, they are filthy, and must be avoided as described above.

(3) "Avoiding [h: filth]" means avoiding direct skin contact with any part of the body, whether by swallowing or by touching.

(4) What the scholars have explicitly mentioned is that these acts are permitted between husband and wife. However, they are only permitted if one avoids contact with filth because there is no need [h: to touch the filth] in this case. So if one wants to perform such an act, he or she must stay away from filth. [h: As for the objection that the condition of avoiding filth effectively renders these acts impermissible, it is not true because] not everyone immediately excretes pre-ejaculate (Ar. madhy); rather, people have differing natures in this regard.

(5) What is explicitly mentioned in the texts is that these acts are permissible. I have not seen anyone mention that they are disliked or better not to do (Ar.khilaf al-awla), and Allah knows best.

Amjad Rasheed
Amman, Jordan

(Translated by Moustafa Elqabbany and Hamza Karamali)

Ghusl Upon Ejaculation
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, SunniPath Academy Teacher

Must a woman of the Hanafi Madhab perform ghusl if she engages in sexual activities with her husband where she climaxes but this is done *without* penetration. Furthermore, there is no contact with her privates as she is wearing undergarments. What about if all of the above remains true but she comes into contact with her husband's semen?

A purificatory bath (ghusl) would be required in such a case, because the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “Water is required by water.” [A rigorously authentic hadith reported by Muslim, from Abu Sa`id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him)] That is, one needs to use water for a purificatory bath, if ejaculation takes place.

Muwaffaq al-Din Ibn Qudama (d. 620 AH) mentioned in his masterpiece of Hanbali and comparative fiqh, al-Mughni,

“The exiting of ejaculate with desire makes a purificatory bath (ghusl) obligatory for men and women, whether in waking or sleep. This is the position of the generality of the fuqaha, as Tirmidhi said, and we are not aware of any disagreement on this.” [Ibn Qudama, al-Mughni, 1: 278, Dar Ihya’ al-Turath al-Arabi]

Imam Abu Bakr al-Kasani reported scholarly consensus on this in his Bada’i` al-Sana’i` (1: 36)

As for when actual intercourse takes places, a purificatory bath is obligatory (fard), even if no ejaculation takes place.

Ala’ al-Din Abidin, the 19th Century Damascene faqih and son of Ibn Abidin, said in his al-Hadiyya al-`Ala’iyya:

“A purificatory bath is necessitated by:

a) sperm or female ejaculate that leaves its place of origin with desire [f: whether actual or effective], even if it exits the body without desire, even if without sexual intercourse;

b) the head of the penis entering either private part of a living human being who is fit for sexual intercourse, even without any release of sexual fluids…” [al-Hadiyya al-`Ala’iyya, ]

Faraz Rabbani


One becomes in a state of (janaba) for two reasons:

The first reason: Semen exiting the man's penis or female ejaculate exiting the woman's vagina, from its place of origin with desire. Abu Dawud and others have related from Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) that she said: "The Messenger of Allah was asked about a man who finds wetness (f: of semen from ejaculation), but does not remember having a wet dream. So he said (Allah bless him and give him peace), 'he must perform ghusl.' And he was asked about a man who thinks he had a wet dream, but finds no wetness. So he said (Allah bless him and give him peace), 'he does not have to perform ghusl.' So Umm Sulaim said, 'if a woman finds wetness, does she have to perform ghusl?' He said: Yes, women are the partners of men.'" .....

When and how is a woman napak (impure), and in need of Ghusl?


  1. Assalaamu Alaikum Muhammad,

    Maybe I'm not reading this right but I think some of this is contradictory:

    "So even if he cums and it gets on you then you only have to wash it off and make wudu."

    When and how is a woman napak (impure), and in need of Ghusl?

    A purificatory bath is necessitated by:

    c) The finding, on one’s clothes, of what looks like semen after waking up from sleep or loss of consciousness.

    Must a woman of the Hanafi Madhab perform ghusl if she engages in sexual activities with her husband where she climaxes but this is done *without* penetration. Furthermore, there is no contact with her privates as she is wearing undergarments. What about if all of the above remains true but she comes into contact with her husband's semen?

    A purificatory bath (ghusl) would be required in such a case, because the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “Water is required by water.” [A rigorously authentic hadith reported by Muslim, from Abu Sa`id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him)] That is, one needs to use water for a purificatory bath, if ejaculation takes place.

    Maybe I'm way off in my understanding of what I've just read, but to me it's saying....screaming....TAKE A BATH!

    And why wouldn't you take a bath anyway? You should do it anyway for health and hygiene reasons.

    Oh yes, I forgot, the hair. The perm. Well, in my opinion Allah didn't forget a thing, and maybe, just maybe the fact that we should cover our heads anyway helps us not only to be modest but to also not be vain.

    Also, there's an old saying that goes something like "If you want to play, you gotta pay."

    Why so many "what ifs" about wudu and ghusl? Why would someone go to so much trouble trying to get out of having to make ghusl or wudu? I mean look, you have sex, even though that in and of itself is not dirty or forbidden in a marriage.... when you are done, you are NOT clean and you know it. And when you pray you should want to be the cleanest you possibly can be and not try to find every way in the world NOT to be.

    I think we should just try to do what we know is right. Make love and enjoy it. Clean yourself up real good and pray. It's really not that difficult. And if you wonder or have doubts about whether you are clean or not, if your wudu has been broken or not...clean yourself up. Just do it anyway. Do it for Allah and your desire to be sure you please Him.

    That's my two cents about all this. For what it's worth.

  2. I don't think it's about if u need a ghusl after sex or not.I think what's being asked is if the wife needs a ghusl after she gives her husband a blow job where as she doesn't climax.

  3. Oral Sex With Husband Who Does Not Secrete mazi? permissible

    assalamulaikum, My husband does not discharge mazi during sexual activity at all, ever. He appears to be one of the rare casses of men who do not ejeculate pres-seminal fluid. With this in mind, would it be permissible, or at least less makruh than if he did secrete mazi, for a wife to kiss and suck the husband's penis, seeing as there is no danger of the najis of mazi entering her mouth? kindly advise. wassalamualaikum.

    Answer 9588 2003-09-08

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    It is not permissible.

    and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

    Mufti Ebrahim Desai

  4. > Marriage (Nikah) > Question 5866 from South Africa

    please can you tell me straight if oral sex is haraam or not?

    my husbands says that a reliable mufti has told him that it is okay to have oral sex in his case,as he has a desire to have oral sex with his wife.however he he stipulates that if he does'nt get oral sex from his wife then this does not mean that he wants to or wishes to go out and get everytime he wants it i have doubts,and he states that he has confirmed it with a reputable mufti.what is my position in all of this.i find it to be imitating the kaafir's and i find it to be filthy,but i do not mind if it is allowed,if not do i have the right to refuse this to him?

    Answer 5866 2002-09-11

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    It is not permissible for one to put any impure substance into one's mouth.
    Since oral sex normally results in the impure discharges of the husband's
    private part going into the wife's mouth, it is not permissible. On the
    contrary, if the possibility of any impurity entering the mouth is
    eradicated, then it will be permissible for the wife to caress the genitals
    of her husband.

    It is recorded in the most famous authentic and frequently used book of
    jurisprudence that, 'It is permissible for the husband to caress the entire
    body of his wife with any portion of his body including his private part;
    likewise, it is permissible for the wife to caress the entire body of the
    husband including his private part, with any portion of her body.' (Raddul
    Mukhtaar vol.1 pg.292). Refer attached

    and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

    Mufti Ebrahim Desai

    Oral sex between a husband and wife is considered as Makruh Tahrimi by the
    jurists, since there is strong possibility that by ejaculation, Mazi (semen)
    comes out and enters the mouth of the partner. There is consensus amongst
    the Fuqahaa that Mazi is Najis (impure)

    Man has been created as a bearer of high and noble attributes. In him he
    mirros the attributes of divinity (Sifaat-e-Ilaahiyya) such as life,
    knowledge, power, will, sight, hearing, speech, love, etc. In the
    authoritative Tafseer of the aforementioned Aayat, it is said that Insaan
    (man) has been adorned with the Noor of Aql (the light of intelligence).
    This celestial faculty of intelligence creates in Insaan the capacity for
    the manifestation of the lofty and divine attributes of Allah Taãla. By
    virtue of the Noor of Aql man becomes incandescent by being a mirror for
    these lofty attributes and manifestation (Tajalliyaat-e-Zilliyah and
    Sifaat-e-Zaatiyyah). As a direct consequence of this lofty pedestal which
    Insaan occupies in the Divine Scheme, the mantle of Khilaafah (vicegerency)
    has been conferred on him. Stating this fact, the Qurãn declares: 'Verily I
    shall be creating on earth a Khaleefah.'
    In the Tafseer of the Aayat mentioned at the beginning, it is also said that
    in relation to all the species of life, man has been endowned with the most
    beautiful form. All other animals have been created in a lowly form with
    their heads downwards. Their faces constantly pointing downwards to the
    earth indicate their low rank in relation to man. In contrast, man has been
    created upright and he eats his food by means of raising it with his hands
    unlike the lowly beasts with faces downwards.

    In the Tafseer of the Aayat, it is said that when man willingly destroys his
    natural ability to progress to the pedestals of elevation, he degenerates
    and falls from his lofty mansion. He then falls to levels lower than the
    level of dogs, pigs and even Shayaateen.

    According to the authentic Tafaseer, prior to the creation of Aadam (Álayhis
    salaam), the Malaaikah (angels) entertained the opinion that Allah Taãla
    will not create any being superior to them. Allah Taãla negates this opinion
    of the Malaaikah by creating Aadam (Álayhis salaam) and making him a
    manifestation of divine attributes. To illustrate Insaan's superiority over
    all pecies of creation, Allah Taãla commanded the Malaaikah to make Sajdah
    (prostration) to him (Nabi Aadam (Álayhis salaam). The superiority of man is
    well emphasised by the statement of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi
    Wasallam): 'Allah created Aadam in His (Allah's) form.' Insha Allah, this
    Hadith will be explained in greater detail in some future issue of 'the
    Majlis'. Here it is sufficient to mention the interpretation of the
    authorities intelligence, sight, hearing, etc. These lofty attributes are
    located in that part of the human body called head. It is for this reason
    that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) forbade striking or slapping
    the face of any human being or even an animal. In the Tafseer of the Qurãnic
    Aayat which permits husbands to beat wives in cases of necessity, it is
    said: 'The face shall not be slapped'. Explaining the reason for the
    prohibition of slapping the face, Imaam Nawawi (RA) says in his Sharhul
    Muslim, 'Because the face is the embodiment of man's beauty in addition to
    it being of sublime nature.'

    In man there are six metaphysical or non-material or spiritual faculties
    known as the Lataa-if-e-sittah. Two of these lofty faculties, viz. Lateefah
    Khaafi and Lateefah Akhfa are located in the head. The Lateefah Akhfah is
    located in the centre of the brain while the location of Lateefah Khafi is
    between the eyebrows. The functions of these faculties are the highest
    states of reflection and contemplation, progressing from the high state of
    Fana to Fanul Fana. These are spiritual or Roohani stages which shall not be
    discussed in this article.

    In the Ahaadith, the following narration appears.
    'Verily, your mouths are pathways of the Qurãn, therefore purify your mouths
    with Miswaak'.

    The Makhaarij or places from whence Qurãnic huroof (letters) emanate are
    located in the mouth. The high Ibaadat of Tilaawat of the Qurãn shareef is
    effected via the mouth, hence the Hadith describes the mouth as the 'pathway
    of the Qurãn'. Since it is, literally speaking, the channel for the
    recitation of the Qurãn shareef, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)
    emphasised much the maintainance of its purity. The emphasis on the purity
    of the mouth could be gauged from the many times Rasulullah (Sallallaahu
    Álayhi Wasallam) would use the Miswaak everyday to clean his mouth. The
    practice of Miswaak is strongly stressed by the Shariáh. In one Hadith,
    Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'When the servant of Allah
    uses the Miswaak and then performs Salaat, an angel stands behind him,
    listening attentively to the recitation of the Qurãn. The angels draws
    closer and closer to the reciter and places his mouth on the mouth of the
    reciter. Thus every word emanating from the mouth of the Musalli enters the
    angel's mouth. Therefore, maintain your mouth pure and clean for the Qurãn.

    The actual purpose underlying the creation of man is Zikrullah or the
    remembrance of Allah Taãla. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) ordered
    Muslims to maintain their tongues fresh with the Zikr of Allah Taãla.
    The facts mentioned above will indicate that Insaan is Ashraful Makhlukaat
    (the noblest of creation) and the noblest part of his body is his head which
    is the location for lofty faculties and attributes which earn for him the
    designation of 'the form of Allah'. In order that he maintains his lofty
    rank and progresses continuously towards loftier mansions and closer Divine
    Proximity, it is essential that man exercises restraint over his physical
    and animal qualities. If he fails in this respect, he will descend to a
    level below the lowly beasts. Allah Taãla has endowed man with intelligence,
    will-power and shame. He must employ these attributes to subdue his animal
    and carnal desires and refrain from indulgence in the excesses of lust. If
    he fails in this achievement he will annihilate himself spiritually and
    degenerate to sub-animal levels.
    The sublimity of Islam is of such a lofty degree that it exhorts its
    adherence to adopt dignity, deportment and propriety in even sexual
    relationship. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) advised his Ummah to
    abstain from total nudity when indulging in sex and not to behave 'like
    asses'. Since Islam is a culture of transcendental values calculated to
    ensure maximum remembrance of Allah Taãla, a Muslim should not debase
    himself to a sub-animal level by resorting to the vile practice of oral sex.
    The mouth of Insaan is the pathway of the Qurãn, his tongue has been
    commanded to remain fresh with Zikrullah; his mouth is situated in the
    noblest part of his body; the functions of his mouth are noble and lofty;
    his mouth is a passageway for transference of the recited Qurãn into the
    mouth of the listening angel. He cannot, therefore, debase and dishonour
    himself so disgracefully by resorting to the revolting practice of oral sex.
    A Muslim should not dishonour that head and face which the Shariáh of Islam
    commands to be honoured. Allah Taãla honoured the human head with noble
    qualities, the highest being the Noor of Aql, but man debases that lofty
    part of his body by indulging in an act of bestiality not even committed by
    the lowly beasts. It does not behove man in general, and a Muslim in
    particular to degrade himself in this manner.
    The Mu'min's link with Allah Taãla is so strong or ought to be so strong
    that the Shariáh has prescribed a particular Duá to be recited even when a
    man approaches his wife for sexual relations. Even at the moment of reaching
    climax and ejaculation, the Muslim is required to read in his mind (without
    moving the lips) a special Duá so that he remains protected from any
    Shaitaani interference. We learn from the Hadith of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu
    Álayhi Wasallam) that Shaytaan attempts to interfere with man even while he
    indulges in lawful sex, hence the wording of the special Duá for this
    occasion is: 'O Allah! Protect us from Shaytaan and protect the offspring
    you grant us from Shaytaan'.
    Allah Taãla has honoured man highly, hence the Qurãn says, 'Verily, we have
    honoured the sons of Aadam.' He is therefore not allowed to debase himself
    with the bestial acts which even the lowly beasts do not commit.
    The mouth is an honoured part of the physical body. It is not a receptacle
    of impurity. The Shariáh emphasises the maintainance of its purity. Even in
    the developing foetus, Allah Taãla has arranged for the maintainance of the
    purity of the mouth. The umbilical cord connects the developing embryo to
    its mother. It is the passageway in which exchange of nutrient and waste
    materials with the circulatory system of the mother takes place. In man the
    umbilical cord arises at the navel below which is the location of the
    rebellious Nafs which reduces man to sub-animal levels if not restrained.
    Why does Allah Taãla not create the foetus with the umbilical cord attached
    to its mouth so that its nutrition reaches it in the normal way, viz. Via
    the mouth? Right until the very last moments prior to its emergence into the
    external world, the baby's nutrition is via the umblical cord. Immediately
    on reaching the outside world its nourishment reaches it from the mouth.
    Since the umbilical cord is also the passageway for impure waste matter, its
    connection is near to the location of the lowly nafs. The mouth has thus
    been guarded against impurities.
    The facts presented in this article should be sufficient to convey to
    Muslims that their Imaan and the spirit of the teachings of Islam do not
    permit them to grovel in the dregs of debasement and perpetrate moral
    injustice by utilising the mouth for deriving sexual pleasure. This is not
    the function of the mouth. It is a misappropriation of an amaanat (trust).
    All parts of the body are Amaanat which have to be utilised in accordance
    with the instructions of Allah Taãla. Such contamination and moral pollution
    as entailed by oral sex are most unbecoming the dignity and rank of man,
    especially if the Insaan appears to be a follower of the illustrious Shariáh
    of Muhammad (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Allah Taãla states in the Noble
    Qurãn, 'Verily, Allah loves those who purify themselves.'

    Extracted from 'The Majlis' Vol. 6 No. 8

    And Allah Taãla Knows Best.

    Was salaam

    Mufti Ebrahim Desai

  5. In response to your answer no. 11271 on April 29, do you have any reference (from quran or hadith) about this (oral sex) or is this your personal opinion.

    Mufti Sb. I have a question in response to your answer no. 11271 on April 29. You have said that oral sex between husband and wife is makrooh-e-tehrimi or close to haram. Do you have any reference (from quran or hadith) about this or is this your personal opinion. As far as I know it is ok as Allah has said in Quran “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. And prophet (SWS) never forbidden any thing related to this except approaching wives during menses and from rear (anus).

    Answer 11662 2004-05-13

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    Your substantiation for the permissibility of oral sex from the verse in reference is incorrect. The Arabic word ‘Harth’ translated as tilt refers to the private part and not the entire body.

    The subsequent word ‘Anna’ could be interpreted in two ways, ‘min ayna’ (from wherever) or ‘kayfa’ (however). The former interpretation is incorrect as that would mean one may enter his wife from wherever – front or back (anus). This will not be conducive to the word tilt as nothing is produced from the anus – like a farm. The latter interpretation (kayfa) is conducive as it indicates one may assume any posture during intimacy when coming to one’s tilt which is the front private part. The word ‘harth’ does not include the mouth and has nothing to do with oral sex.

    and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

    Mufti Ebrahim Desai

  6. What is the area to be circumcised for females?

    Health activists claim that circumcising the clitoris decreases the sexual excitement that can be experienced by females. Also regarding oral sex; is it HARAM or is it better not to practice it? Is it allowed for the husband to pleasure his wife’s clitoris with his tongue and similarly is the wife allowed to pleasure her husband’s penis with her tongue ensuring that she does not touch the mazi or mani excreted by the husband?

    Answer 11271 2004-04-29

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    Nabi Sallahu alaihewasalaam said five practices are the characteristics of Fitrah, circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, cutting the mustash short, clipping nails and removing the hair under arms. (Nasai)

    Circumcision is Sunnat for men and an honour for women. (Musnad Ahmed, AlBayhaqee)

    Every Sunnat is beneficial physically, health wise and it gains the pleasure of Allah.

    Circumsicion carries numerous physical benefits, and it also prevents many illnesses.

    Also circumcison is an important aspect of cleanliness which is strongly emphasised in Islam. When the foreskin is not removed, urine and other secretions can collect under the folded skin. This can lead to painful infections from bacterial growth. Thus the operation of circumcision reduces basic hygiene for men and boys.

    "Indeed Allah loves those who keep to Him constantly as He loves those who keep themselves pure". (surat al baqarah)

    Hence it is a great sunnat as well as physically beneficial to perform this

    Oral sex between husband and wife is Makrooh Tahrimi. This means it is very close to haraam. Thus it will not be permissible for the husband to pleasure his wife's clitoris with his tongue and similarly it is not permissible for the wife to pleasure her husband's penis with her tongue.

    Circumcision is not a sunnat for females, however it is permissible and mustahab. Circumcision of females is merely a benefit for men as it increases sexual excitement.

    The area which should be circumcised for females is the skin which is just above the place where the male would enter his private part. The skin should not be cut fully.

    and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

    Mufti Ebrahim Desai

  7. hold both positions this brothers and this Fatawa on the issue as well.

    Fatwa on Oral Sex

    By Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

    Praise be to Allah!

    It is permissible for the husband to enjoy/savor/relish his wife however he wishes, and to come to her in the genital area from any point he wishes. As Allah (Exalted is He) has said:

    “Your wives are a tillage for you [to cultivate] [nisa’u-kum harthun l-kum]

    so go to your tillage as you wish. [fa-’’tu hartha-kum anna shi’tum] Q 2:223.

    It is unlawful for the man to perform two sexual acts on the wife, namely:

    1. Sexual penetration [wat’] during menstruation[haid].

    As Allah (Exalted is He) has said:

    They question you concerning menstruation. [wa yas aluna-ka ‘ani ‘l-mahid:]

    Say: It is an illness, [qul huwa adhan]

    So let women alone at such times [fa-’’tazilu ‘n-nisa’a fi ‘l-mahidi]

    and do not approach them until they are cleansed [wa la tagrubu-hunna hatta yathurn:]

    And when they have purified themselves, [fa-idha tatahharna fa’’tu-hunna]

    then go into them as Allah has enjoined on you. [min haithu amara-kumu ‘llah:]

    Truly Allah loves those who repent, [inna ‘llaha yuhibbu ‘t-tawwabina]

    and He loves those who keep themselves clean. wa yuhibbu ‘l-mutatahhirin.] Q 2:222.

    2. Sexual penetration in the anus.

    Allah’s messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) has said:

    "Accursed is he who has sex with his wife in her anus." (Reported by Abu Dawud and Imam Ahmad [ibn Hanbal], and established as authentic in Sahih al-Jami’ 5889.)

    These two prohibitions are mentioned together in the saying [hadith] of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace):

    "Beware of the anus and the menstrual period." (Reported by Imam Ahmad [ibn Hanbal] and Abu Dawud; also in Sahih al-Jami’ 1141.)

    As for the question of oral titillation of the pudendum, it all depends on two considerations:

    1. It must not be hurtful.
    2. It must not result in the introduction of impurity/dirt into the internal organs.

    This [is what I have to say on the subject]. Allah knows best. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

    This is a translation of Sheikh Muhammed's answer as it appears on his question and answer site at