Sunday, September 02, 2007

Polygamy and the Black Panther Party

Well actually I don't know if they are in the Black Panther Party or the new Black Panther Party, but they are definitely pro-African. Now if you have never read a pro-African rhetoric it can kind of take you aback so just brace yourself and get into the meat of what they are saying. Her views on polygamy actually fall in line with my views on polygamy. As a utility it can be an awesome tool. If you have two earners working for what is necessary in Dunya and one at home fortifying the youth to become better Muslims then this is a model that would work.

I have different models that I class polygamy into and I haven't fully formalized all of my definitions yet so bear with me however this one I would call a sister driven model of polygamy. Which honestly is the only one that I truly believe would work. I went over three of them in an earlier post. There are some other things that I want to study. City verses country, one house verses multiple homes. Family oriented verses, male oriented. How it exists in various ethnic groups. Arabs, Africans, Vietnamese. How it exists within various religions. Why some situations work and why some don't. I think that it is a very interesting scholarly unit of study. This would make for a good book.

2 comments:

  1. as salaam alaikum brother muhammad:

    i'll have to read this site more carefully at a later date, but i wanted to make comment that, overall, Africa is/Africans are very polygynous. It's been going on quite extensively from the beginning until lately with the infiltration of christian evangelists putting polygyny in such a bad light (and the consequent rise in lesbianism). And the only thing it has done is drive men into having more than one woman on the sly...the men STILL do it, but now without the sanction of the community or state, and the women, and without any of the responsibility.

    there are a couple of afrikan oriented based communities in america that practice polygyny, and it doesn't seem to be an issue of discussion, from what i can tell. The women who join these groups embrace the concept and the men who practice it seem not to have all the fitna within the family dynamic. I guess that is so because it IS so upfront and accepted by the community ingeneral.

    This is not the case within the ummah. God knows that many Muslim polygynous families have an awful time from their COMMUNITY members; sometimes it's so bad that the marriage breaks up. There are no models for the men to emulate and women are notorious for pitying the first wife and hating the 2nd. There is rarely an elder woman for the first wife to go to for family affirming advise and support and help in adjusting through what most women these days have been brought up to believe about love and men...that there must be something wrong with them, that he must love the next one more or her less.

    We've long forgotten that love is not like money; more you spend the less there is. Love is the exact opposite. It's infinite, and can actually grow between the first and the husband when he marries the second. I know first marriages that have been saved by the addition of the second wife. Masha'Allah. I've seen it where the first and second wives (and more) become so cohesive that when they all end up divorced from the husband, they stay best friends. I've seen and experienced how polygyny can work, very well for all parties involved.

    Lastly, my husband was talking to another polygynist brother we know and they were discussing how it is that brothers can envision a perfect society, but can't maintain decent relationships. To put it another way, they were wondering how so many Muslim men can discuss in great detail how to solve the ummah's problems but usually can't create synergy and 'manage' more than one wife. I was wondering if it always comes down to the ineptness of the man?

    Masalaam,
    Asiila

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for commenting on my Blog I really appreciate yours and Imani's views. It brings a new light to the subject and makes it a lot less dark. Unfortunately in the Muslim arena the subject is usually approached on the down low. So when it unfolds it comes as a low blow so the foundation is rocky from the start.

    I asked a question on Safa's blog and so far the running consensus is that the women can do without the lies and games that men play when trying to bring it about and keep things together. I think from all of the blogs that I read that lying is the number one cause of discomfort. Followed closely by disrespect and disregard.

    You are correct in that there are no positive role models. There are usually the domineering ones, the deceptive ones and the cheating justifying ones and that is unfortunate because it is a complex lifestyle with a lot to offer if done correctly. The catfighting that takes place I'm not so in touch with cause it is usually out of my sight. You know sisters don't come up to brothers and complain unless they are the Imam.

    I agree that love is based on the God Principle that the more you give the more you can receive.

    The ineptness of the man? Hmm I would more than likely say that is a possibility, but also a lot of it has to do with maturity, COMMUNICATION SKILLS, and experience. In my first go round with polygamy I was very inexperienced I did a lot of things wrong. There were lapses in communication, there was mismanagement. As I see it the husband has to be an excellent manager. He has to enforce the rules that the Family has stated are in stone. He has to be a steward of time and he must be as truthful as he possibly can be. I believe after this point Allah will work out the rest.

    ReplyDelete