Wednesday, December 08, 2010

I'm back

Blogging on my iPad is a pain. Me and word press didn't work out so well. I don't know if I want to open up this little door of drama again. I also don't know how much I'm going to share. Time will tell. All of my friends ar here. So it seems logical to come back. Post one here I go again.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Going private is a little trickier than I thought

What a pain in the neck I would have to know 100 emails of peeps who read my blog in order to go private. What if I don't know 100 email addresses and what if more people than that read my blog? Time to go to wordpress.

Monday, March 15, 2010

This blog will go private in 24 hours

Hello all I just want to say that I am so glad that you all have been with me forever and ever. So to my faithful readers I just want to let you know that this blog is going private in 24 hours maybe less. I think that I will move it over to wordpress where I can control who sees what. See you around.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Oh God where have I been?

So I fall off the face of the planet and then every once in a while I post. This is one of those times. Where have I been and what have I been doing? Well frankly I have been living like a fish out of water. I work in a place where I am present, but not present. I have reached a point where I no longer judge people even subconsciously for their life decisions. You never know what you are going to be doing in the future. Sometimes you just wish for simple things. Love, Life and wealth all blessed to the point that you don't have to look back or question your existence, just your worship, but then that would be too easy. Where I work? Well it is like this water water everywhere and not a drop to drink. That's the way that I look at it. It is just money and the money is halal enough I suppose it is just where I make it that I get edgy with.

So I was thinking about putting a personal ad in craigslist for professional snuggling services. Out of being married for 16 years of my life I have to say that I miss snuggling. The rest of it I can deal without, but snuggling I seriously miss. I don't want anything beyond that. Now that I'm 40 I'm not horny 24/7 I suppose you have to be careful what you pray for. One day it was just gone. Funny.

So the celibacy thing is back on track yet again. This time I think I can go through with it. I think. I know I don’t want to get married again so it is something that I will just have to deal with. You choose your tests. Either way you get tested if you are married you have to put up with the other persons crap and if you are by yourself you have to put up with your own issues. So that's me putting up with my own crap.

So many times I want to blog and I just don't. Sometimes I kinda feel like Shaytan is reading over my shoulder and throwing monkey wrenches into my life. So I suppose if I keep the info to a minimum then the less crap I have to put up with.

So how have you all been? If I go private with my blog I will let you know how to get in.

So many things I've learned, so many ponderings that I wish that I would have shared with you. Ponderings like this. Here is a reality that you really just don't think of. How long have you been conscious? In reality since shortly after the creation of Adam, so how old would that make you? And theoretically speaking how long do you actually spend down here? We are talking fractions of picoseconds. So when you hear Allah say that this life and everything in it is of no value it put things into perspective. If you've been alive (conscious) for 5000 years or more even if you got the squat beat out of you for 60 years it wouldn't even be a significant event in the big picture of your life. Every trial and tribulation takes on a different meaning when you realize that no matter what amount of suffering you go through it is only actually lasting a fraction of infinitesimal amounts of time. When children die prematurely you have to realize that they have been around since Adam, and they incur other benefits of a short life. Depending on how they used it. It brings perspective to the Hadith where the woman said that if she knew that in the future humans would only live around 60 years or so that she would spend her whole life in sujjud. The understanding of that one verse brings so many things into perspective.

Time is not your friend and there is actually no latitude for wasting it. Pray, Dhikr, Reflect, Think deeply and then share. Allah removes all excuses from the believers, if you don't believe me Find an excuse and you will find a verse that gives greater reward for not accepting it. If you are too poor to move you will find that there is more blessing for taking the struggle and doing it anyway. No excuses.

So why am I so down and out? Stupidity and procrastination, Anger and rebellion. All very very dumb reasons, but sometimes you want to quit. There is however no quitting. No time outs, no breaks. So I'm chastising myself for my actions and warning you of yours. I pray that Allah blesses all of you and myself and Insha Allah we are granted the Great Success in this world and in the next.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Back in the Islands

I'm here back on Oahu and it is a cleansing. This is a sacred place. It is a beautiful Island a land stripped of its sovereignty as the world looked the other way, and still does. I miss the Islands and yet I don't. It is a spiritual place where they will remind you to be conscious of God by whatever name they call Him. The will remind you to pray, to submit and the peace of the people is disrupted by the influence of the outside filth of "the proper world". They still take time to smell the flowers when they aren't driven by the masters whip. Prayer works here. My ex-sister-in-law prayed for me. I couldn't pray to Isa so she corrected that in here prayer, but she prayed that the houses would sell and the papers would be signed.

Life it goes on at the drop of a hat and this is a second time that Christians have called me back to my Deen. I don't know if it was really them or if it that I am just a hypocrite trying to hold on to what little faith that I actually do have. It is so funny when you fall off the horse when you have knowledge that you cannot hide. I do not delude myself by justifying sins that I know better to not do. I state them as they are to myself and those who ask, the drunk preaching of the ill effects of liquor. Stupid is as stupid does, but at least I won't lie about it.

My faith held on by the thread of my Salaat, suffocated by my sins and coerced by my fear. I pray that I find a way of making money that will be in line with my still praying soul and my Lord that will pay my bills and not leave me in want. Then I will be at peace. Listen Muslims I have faith that I will not be here forever. I hear the bell and it tolls for me. The Salaat is my connection so that I will not forget, my actions must lead me to the actuation of that belief and it is something that I must do so that on the other-side I can make it out. I will make it out Insha Allah. I will not give up my Salaat.

That nonsense is not what I wish to ramble on about though. My people what you need to understand in this life is that everything is relative to the final hour. I was telling my kids born Muslim raised Christian that "Saved" is a joke and a sacrilege as it forces one to tell the Creator what He is and is not going to do with them. I told them that is nonsense and the Path to Heaven is a daily struggle and that somedays you are in like Flynn and others you are as good as Burnt, but it is God alone that makes the final decision. There is no formal recipes to guarantee your entry into Heaven there is only a guarantee of practices that have been proven to be successful. We as Muslims are very critical of our Christian brothers and we view the you just gotta have faith thing as nonsense, and it is, but at the end of the Day it is Allah alone that will decide what happens to tweedle dee and tweedle dum isn't it. Maybe Allah only judges those who think deeply and the rest Allahu Alim. That's wrong I know but seriously we practice Islam so that on the Day of Judgement we can bow down with the Rakiun. May Allah count us with them.

Well enough ranting, most of this didn't make sense, but Insha Allah soon I will make a lot more sense as I begin writing again. I think I need to move my blog to wordpress so that I can lock it down because if you google me my whole life is there and as business picks up I don't want all of my clients telling me my old laundry. So it will have to go.