Sunday, June 11, 2006

One more thing..

Okay back to the talk at Jumuah. The brother also said something that I have been keeping with me. He said that there are two types of believers. Those that are believers because intellectually it is a sound religion that agrees with the intellect and science, and those that are Muslim because they love Allah. He said they are both valid Muslim yes, but the intellectual Muslims will follow their religion until they reach a point and then they will stop, but the Muslims that believe for the sake, and love of Allah their faith will know no limits.

I contemplated this proposition and thought okay then what kind of Muslim am I? I am definetely the former type of Muslim. For me it all just makes sense and I rationalize a lot of things, and I am firm in my faith, but the spiritual side is the side that comes and goes. It increases and decreases and I wish that I could be closer to Allah because my heart was tied to longing for the Firdous but I'm just not that way. It is very difficult for me to keep on track and do the things that I know I should be doing, because I will eventually rationalize myself out of a good practice that I have began.

I pray to Allah that I can become a Muslim that does every action out of sincere devotion and love for Allah, because I know that this is the way. As an intellectual Muslim I keep tallies sort of you know like ok this action might wash out this sin sort of thing, but ultimately this is not where I wish to be. I pray that I can change my state, I hope that you all will pray for me as well.

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