Analyzing Comments

There are some comments that spark your interest so that you look deeper into them. On my blog I have two that stand out in particular. One left awhile ago that accused me of being addicted to sex and the other left yesterday on my "Please Stop the Torture... Please!!??!! Post that claimed that I was addicted to love. So I have reflected on these two comments today and I am turning them over in my head. Do they have any validity, what is my problem and how does it all work in the grand scheme of things?

So I look at the first one Addicted to Sex and I have to disagree. Although I love sex quite a bit I am not addicted to it in the framework of it decides my every action. I live at home with my Mom and over the years it has become a sort of residence for mentally disturbed girls she takes them in and she helps them the best that she can to become more and more self-sufficient. This one girl that is staying with her is a little off. Every time my mother is away she completely flips the script and the little church girl becomes hoochfestzilla. The other day she tried to grab my Johnson and she is always EXPLICITLY talking about sex. She has dropped every hint in the book that she wants to get it on and frankly if I was addicted to sex I would have done so already with her being crazy or not. I have seen people who are addicted to sex and they will screw anything breathing. NO that is definitely not me. She keeps asking me when my Mom is coming home and laughing and what not, sorry thank you but no thank you. No I like sex a lot, but I need to be in a committed relationship, there has to be trust, there has to be love. Unfortunately I learned the hard way that I want nothing to do with one night stands, or booty calls, nor old girlfriends waiting in the wings. The guilt that comes after is unbearable. No I am a marriage only kind of guy. Now once married it is an entirely different story that wife had better just prepare herself for a life of very healthy and continuous great sex because I am committed to the job until I get it right, or pass out from trying. So I guess that answer is partially correct a faithful nymphomaniac I guess would describe me correctly. When my wife’s friends came over I would get aroused but the effects of that arousal were all directed only to my wife. If I even talked to a sister at all, normally I would just go to my room when sisters came over and would come out when they left. So even if there were women around my wife would receive all of the benefits. So that is how I am. When I am married I don’t take matters into my own hands and nor do I watch porn at all. It is all for my wife when I am married. So I would have to say that is not my problem.

About being Addicted to Love. The type of love that they accuse me of being addicted to is puppy love looking at the way that they describe it. People do get Addicted to the newness of love and fall for that new love feeling. I don’t do that. When I look at Sakinah I love her just like the first day that I saw her and I have seen her at her best and at her worst. I have seen her happy and I have seen her sad, ugly and cute and it has not affected the way that I feel for her one bit. Even now in love and at war with everything that she has done to me and everything that I have done to her I still love her like nobody’s business. In contrast to other relationships that I have been in where I could care less when it came time to break up it was splitsville. So no I don’t think that it is that I am addicted to love, cause if that were the case I would have went through the same stuff in my first marriage but I didn’t. I think we were together longer so that you have a frame of reference. 7 years I think it was. So no I don’t think that is what it was.

What would probably be truer is that I am addicted to female attention. That is not entirely true though because I don’t sneak around and talk to as many women as possible, and when I have the opportunity to hang around in women’s faces I don’t really jump at the chance to do so unless the topic of conversation is really interesting then it is all about the intellectual aspect of it and not sex nor love. However any man would be vulnerable to this period, just as any woman would so even that doesn’t really stand out. Sexually I have expressed a desire to be with more than one woman either together or separate. When I had two girlfriends I did enjoy it very much, but the context of that relationship came at a time preceding my tauba so I can’t really revel in that. Had I been married to both of them I think I would have been able to keep them both happy, but one was a Mormon and I wasn’t in the frame of mind where I was going to try to convert someone and the other one her father forbade us getting married so the relationships weren’t really able to go anywhere. Under different circumstances I would have just married the both of them and been through with it. To be honest now that my marriage is over I can say that I miss both of them or the relationship, not necessarily them in particular, however while I was married to Sakinah the polygamy thing didn’t come out of yearning to embark on to polygamy. Polygamy has just been my safe place in the fantasy land of Muhammad. It never really had to exist it could have or it may not have and I would have been just fine thinking about it just like guys around the world think about Angelina Jolie or any other woman of the eye. They think about her and would love to romp with her, but if they never meet her then they are perfectly fine and that is where I was with polygamy. Now however it may be something that I may want to prove to myself, but I may have to cross that bridge when and if I get to it. That however will be decided when and IF I ever decide to get married again. I will take the advice of letting the girl know up front though. Hey I love you but I may want to add another wife on in the future after all of the blood, sweat and tears. That at least would be fair. It keeps coming up so I may as well come out of the closet about it right up front and be real about it. It has been a desire for a long time and I don’t really think it is going away any time soon so I may as well tell it like it is.

Well that was a nice little self introspection. Thanks for your comments and keep them coming.