Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Two Sides

There are two sides to every story as we have been over in the past and I can say that coming from my wife's blog I am somewhat puzzled and I am probably somewhat to blame. The last conversation that I know of was not concreted and then there is the issue of trust that is completely broken. So without trust I can understand why I said the things that I did it could have went the other way, but because there is a no contact situation. I am not going to openly admit talking to her ever. I have spent enough time in Jail and these Anger Management Classes that I have to go to for the next half a year are no happy sacrifice either, but it is what it is. You take it in stride and perhaps I will be a better person or do some Dawah while I am there. Insha Allah.

For those who are trying to be impartial looking at the situation you must keep in mind that I am not telling my side of the story. It is not a side that would be beneficial to air publicly either for reconciliation or just Deen in general. Hers or mine so I am doing my best to keep my mouth shut.

About the betrayal that she is talking about there was none, nor was there any mention of her contacting me at all. What was said was a child who didn't know the scoop had tried to contact me and when I called the police freshly out of jail and displeased at the time with high emotions I was told that it was one way by officer #809 of the Miami Gardens Police department. They could contact me but I couldn't contact them. I was promptly told by my Pre-Trial officer that was not that case and I was on the precipice of going to jail, again if contact was indeed made. What she called my wife and told her after that I have no knowledge of.

I made promises to her in which I tend to keep. What she decides to do at this point is entirely up to her. I suppose that is where TRUST comes in.


  1. Thanks for linking your wife's blog. As you know, in Islaam we must hear both sides before advising (or in my case, commenting).

    Reading the few posts on your wife's blog made me even more glad that I did not venture to comment on yours without "seeing" her side of things. You told us that you were facing criminal charges, but you didn't tell us why. You didn't tell us that your wife/ex-wife (which title do you prefer?) wasn't the one who pressed those charges. You told us that the case was dismissed because she didn't show up in court, but you didn't tell us why she didn't show up. You told us that she refused to apologize to your mother (for what I'm not sure, but anyways), you didn't tell us that she later did apologize to your mother over the phone.

    Anyways, I have a couple of questions for you, which you are of course not obliged to answer:

    (1) Why do you want full custody of your children if you are in the military? What happens if you get deployed? Wouldn't it be more traumatic for the children if the custodial arrangement goes the way which you have indicated on this blog that you'd want it to be?

    (2) Why do you want your wife/ex-wife to move in with your mother, instead of you moving into her place, especially if there was some sort of tension between them before?

  2. 1) Why I am facing criminal charges: Post OJ Simpson if the police is called in a domestic violence/ disturbance dispute and someone was touched regardless of how lightly in violence or not someone is going to jail male or female, Period and it is a criminal offence misdemeanor. It is obligatory no questions asked. The specifics I am not able to speak of legally.

    2) The TRO was dismissed because she didn't show the criminal case has yet begun. Legally I can't disclose why she didn't show as it would incriminate me and I can go to jail so that was left unsaid. I will clear it up after the case or the injunction is lifted.

    3) The apology I am not going to get into as it would be putting out more information than I am willing to divulge. Covering the faults of the Muslims.

    4) No I didn't mention that she apologized over the phone, which I am not going to get into that either. Covering faults.

    5) I have my reasons for the custody situation which I am not going to divulge here.

    6) I am at 18 years I am not going to get deployed anytime soon unless I want to, especially if I had custody of my children. I don't need sea time for advancement and if perchance I did have to get deployed between Sakinah and I we can work it out, I'm sure. However depending on the outcome of this case I may be out of the military all together anyway so we will see.

    7) We are pulling a $2K a month deficit in our bills as it stands. Moving in with Mom would immediately cut that back $1400 leaving the rest to come up with. If we worked really hard we could pay off all of our excess debt in a relatively short time and then move into OUR place together. WE would have to deal with whatever there was to deal with. I outlined more in my post SHEER LOGISTICS.

    Thank you for asking

  3. Oh if the victim doesn't Press charges the State will. It is a mandatory machinelike process.

  4. Thanks for your frankness. It's not that I want to be all up in your business, nor do I want you to divulge more details than you already have, but the questions and statements in my last post were to show that there are huge chunks missing out of the facts of the situation, and that based on what you do type, we're not getting the whole picture.

    My du'as are with you and your family. May Allaah bless you all!

  5. Yes I realize that everyone isn't getting the whole picture. The whole picture is a lot uglier than represented here and there is no need for everyone to be affected by it.

    You are most Welcome and my duas are with you as well.