Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Polygamy, Prostitution and a cold look at reality

How To Spot a Persian ProstituteStreetwalkers in chadors.By Juliet LapidosPosted Wednesday, April 23, 2008, at 6:53 PM ET
Qom, Iran
Tehran's former police chief Reza Zarei attempted suicide in prison yesterday, a month after being arrested for consorting with six naked women in a brothel. In the aftermath of the scandal, the Times, the Associated Press, and the BBC all reported that prostitutes are becoming more visible on Iranian streets. Given the Islamic dress code, how do Persian prostitutes signal their trade?... More on that...

This problem has come up in the Islamic world in the past and the solution was simple. Exhort men who were able to marry the excess women. Many Muslim scholars have resorted to this kind of tactic each time this problem arose. Marry the excess women off, and remove them from the local of their employ. It is a classic example of the story of the murderer in hadith where Allah shortened the earth for the murderer in the angels dispute. In this situation the prostitutes don't begin with the mindset of prostitutes, many of them are only trying to escape a bad situation and enter into a better one. I am sure that many of them leave with intentions or promises of going to the big city where there are large populations of pious men who will marry them only to find nothing but predators and men ambivilant to marriage. The reality is that the surplus of women severely limits their chances as most men in an atmosphere of freely available sex are in no hurry to get married at all.

So it would seem that most of these women their primary motivation is survival and as they remain in the lifestyle they are raped of all compassion and are left with nothing but scorn. A travesty of reality. Then there is the casual dismissal of these women by all of society. Men and women alike. They receive no compassion from their families, the government, their clients or their fellow women on the streets.

It takes a man who is responsible to take them on as wives and provide a way for them to get the treatment that they need. A patient person who can help them heal. But where are these men? Now let's shift focus to the states where the community of young adults now is also being absorbed by a prostitutes mindset. American Women are so bombarded by images of self and self worth and families are so broken and fractured raising a woman that has sense of self and respect of her body is increasingly becoming a daunting task. No matter how confident the woman there are always issues of self-image. Then there is the phenomenon of money for something lifestyle where women are so superflous and so geared to believe that sex is the cornerstone of the relationship there isn't a day that goes by that I do not hear men of all types complain that there are no marriageable women out there. They are all hoes (excuse the expression). So trained and indoctrinated by television, radio and movies that sex is a passing event in a relationship that it hold little to no worth whatsoever. The incubation time of new relationships before sex has been greatly reduced from years to days and sometimes hours. Why then would the American Man need to marry regardless of his denomination.

Then we get to our community as Muslims and the superfluity of women is then greatly exacerabated as Muslim women are not supposed to marry outside of the religion, but when they come to the marriage table they are faced with a myriad of reasons why men shouldn't get married. Muslim men who are weak are enticed by easy women of the world in great abundance, then if that isn't an issue women are faced with women who are looking to get married who have no children, and are younger and have no qualms marrying older established brothers or younger unestablished brothers. Then there Women with children from a prior relationship so who would want to marry them, as they would have to be even more cautious about the spouse that they choose as a safety measure (hopefully) for her children while fending off her prospective mate from younger more available and possibly attractive women. Then there are the older women who have even less chance at getting married. Then there are professionals, who circulate in circles so small and time at a premium that they have no exposure to a selectable cadre of mates. And lastly there is the ethnic card as some women choose of their own devices to marry inside their ethnicity this brings the number of WILLING marriageable partners down to an ants ass of selection.

I would like to open the floor to Opinions given these factors do you see the wisdom of polygamy or even the necessity of polygamy in these times? What is your opinion and why do you hold it? For me I hold that polygamy isn't for every woman, however for society right now at this juncture it is definitely a serious choice to be considered. As Muslims the prospect of our Muslimahs marrying outside of the religion has nothing to do with her happiness as an individual, but the extended strength of the Ummah as a whole without leadership of a forthright Islamic male position, is to leave the Ummah at a severe disadvantage. She may live a happy life, but the odds of the quality of her children's Islamic identity past a cursory academic study is at severe harm as the core of the religion the family has been hypocritized at the outset. I'm not saying everyone, but as a trend this will inevitably be the case.

I am interested in feedback, Let me know where you stand.


  1. Advocating for polygamy because of prostitution is simplistic and does not get to the root of the problem. The problem being poverty, drugs etc which affects males and females.

  2. Yes but it is an immediate solution that can be implemented with the primary focus being placed upon the family and civic responsibility. A reconstructing of a countries economic situation is something that needs to be implemented on several levels of government and involves seated corruption beds and international relationships and is not as simplistic to resolve. Even if the husband never consumates the marriage the woman is off the street until there is an opportunity to make a better living.

    Shelter homes that provide a focus for the benefit for the country as a require a quite a bit of political red tape to manuever. So even though I validate your claim the problem is systemic and requires people en masse to want to seek for a solution outside of their sphere of influence.

    Many people want to help with the problem of orphans, but don't want to extend themselves past their homes. Many may take in foster children and that serves as a stop-gap solution to the problem, but most will opt to pay a few dollars from afar and not roll up their sleeves to address the problem. This makes the plight of those in the struggle impersonal and unattached.
    You will have a more meaningful experience helping one family in particular who has lost their family than a large collective mass of homeless families. Marriage makes this travesty personal and is led by responsibility. There is no honor in marrying a prostitute so that argument is out the window. It would be strictly for the social purpose of protecting the society as a whole. The same with adopting/ fostering a child and those are honorable and recommended by the Sunnah.

    Then there comes the natural human inclination to want to be loved. To deny these women basic human needs is to dismiss them as anything but human. There still lies the massive superflous amount of women in a relatively small area. If we look at Maslow's Heirachy of needs the elements of poverty are all on the same level of which sex is one. If we look at Maslow's model and Maxwell Neef's model inevitably a problem will arise when this population reaches stage 3 where both scholars describe that intimacy will be sought after by the individual. Which still leaves the problem of the superflous amount of women. Even though sheltered, fed and employed. If there is a population with more women than me then it stands to note that although poverty exists the fact that there are more women than men IS actually the problem. Poverty only affects the choices of the women in terms of avenues of survival.

    Whenever women's issues are debated and the social responsibility comes up there is a lot of flac from females that the sections of female populations are overlooked. Widows, Orphans, Prostitutes, but when one advocates polygamy to protect these areas then that is questioned as well. I think it is about time that we all begin to look at our own individual responsibility to make this Deen stronger by utilizing whatever means that Allah has provided for us.

    Prophet Muhammad said during the last days that one man will be RESPONSIBLE for 70 women. If there is a superflous amount of men readily available, but none but a few men are responsible and desire to take care of a family that is what that means. Complaining about Muslim men marrying outside of the religion, not marrying at all, gay, having girlfriends comes to an end when you are faced with RESPONSIBLE men who are willing to offer a solution.

    Of course I am not saying that this is the end solution for all women, but I am saying that it is a solution. Probably one of many.

  3. I agree that marriage will not solve the problem IF the person is on drugs, however, it can solve the problem for a woman that just got caught in a situation and she cant see a way out of it.
    There are women that would just love to be a wife and mom part time than have to sell her body to countles men.
    Yes she could get a real job but what abut the woman that has not skill and want no skill her dream is to be a wife only.......she does have that right. So I think this would solve her problem.
    People get in situations and cant see a way out. I know when my husband dies i was left with 4 kids. I could have been one of these women who knows. If I were back in a corner can I honestly say i would NVER stoop so low. I could pray not but if you have no money and you need to feed your kids.........who knows.
    I also feel if a woman is on drugs maybe the love and support f a mate can help. I am not saying that will solve all her problems but many times a person can do more with support than they can alone.
    I am not a huge big P fan BUT I know it can be a good thing if done right. The problem is MOST people do it wrong and abuse it.
    However I have see it work and when it does and when people go into into it with eyes wide open and in truth and with honesty. Not lies deciet and not getting the rights people are entiltled to.

  4. You need to empower women by education, skills, equal opportunities, shelter homes etc. You are also making an assumption that there are men out there who would marry a prostitute or a woman with no family.

  5. I agree that you do and people say that and it is easy to SAY that, but ultimately it isn't doing anything about the problem. Women do need education, skills, equal opportunities, shelter homes and what not, however if those things are not in place then what help are those ideas. Where is the personal responsibility? Where is the communal responsibility? Then there is the lingering fact of these women are going to be lonely (some of them) and needing to be loved, just like all people are, they are still human and if there is no love for them then they will perpetuate lovelessness and be taken advantage of as targets of opportunity even with those social structures in place. Look today there are women who have those things and in the west it is almost effortless to go into clubs and take what you want and if you can't then there are predators that will supply it if you don't have time or game to pull a woman.

    If you encourage marriage then you can begin to build society from its core institution the family. If you build strong families then you can have a strong society. If she wears and acts Islamically then she honors herself, family and husband. I think that looking at the problem systemically and approaching it with wisdom and understanding a dent can be made in making the situation better.

    It is not something that I would bee opposed to do, but I am an idealist, and tend to look deeper into things.

    It is not for every man to do and every man wouldn't, but there are men who would and that is better than nothing.