Friday, October 10, 2008

It's So Hard to say goodbye to yesterday

There are the small clues that trickle through that say that it is all over. And we spin out hurting until the end. All I want is my children and I don't know what I will do without them. I sometimes think that it would have been nice to go on, but there is so much pain there perhaps it is best to just close the door and walk away. I have never loved someone like this and it hurts still just as it did the first day. The pain isn't gone but I was warned that it would be this way. Even if I remarried, even if I carried on like there was no past. The pain would still be there sitting in the corner.

I cannot go back I tell myself, but she is still holding my heart. Even after all she has done, sending me to jail and doing other things. There is no malice, only pain. I love her and that will never change.

Goodbye My Heart I know you've moved on, and I understand that we can't go back to what we had. You have the green light to go on, not that you hadn't assumed that before. I will watch from afar as you soar into the horizon. Not to be hurt by you a new day, only trying desperately to forget yesterday. In a moment a lifetime of promised happiness is over, Shaytan grins a grand success. Now my life must become function and I shall not rest. Goodbye love I will walk this path alone, I will accept who I am and next time..., well maybe Allah will make me content within myself and I shall find solace in the sunset of my days.


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