Monday, August 27, 2007

Who were these Sahabas?

OH yeah I went there. In reference to Polygamy I have to ask. I was going to save this post for when Miraj finally answered my question but she never did so no Shah mat there. Darn. However I have to ask Who were these Sahabas? Who were the Sahabas that jumped onto the Polygamy bandwagon. Hmm? Some of you may know better than me, and Aoothubillah if I am going too far with this, but I have to say it. Of the Sahabas we know the well known ones which of those men enjoined polygamy? Prophet Muhammad enjoined on it for two reasons. A to join bonds of kinship for political reasons and B he was told to by Allah Subhannahu Wa taala. The ones that he was fond of were quickly ousted by your mother Aiesha usually by some form of intelligent trickery. Alhamdulillah. Learn from her girls and think outside the Bun.

However back to the question Who were these Sahaba? Were they the men who were striving hard for Jennah? No.
Was it Abu Bakr?
No, and he had the money at one point.
Was it Umar?
Ali? I've been corrected.
No. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Hassan and Hussein? Corrected again.
The brother who we get most of our Hadith from (his name completely slips my mind right now)
Ah yes Abu Hurairah
The four rightly guided Imams

So who then Who are these Sahaba?
Well ladies and gents these Sahaba are precisely the ones that would have second wives today. We forget that Islam is for all times and all climes. We can't just say that because we are driving Benz's and Lexus' that the Times have changed and they don't make men like that anymore. No, Humanity hasn't changed. What is going on now was going on then and for whatever reason Allah saw fit not to outlaw it altogether. That is a reality that we have to submit to.

You knew who you married before you married him. Was he assiduously studying to become a learned man of Islam or was he just an ordinary Joe? Was he serious on the Deen or did he have Nafsi issues? Look at the men above and where their focus was and then look at your husband. I have to include myself in that because I am one of those P desirous husbands. I strive in my desire of P to make it fair and equitable for all involved. (YES my P door is shut, shut I tell you.) However it will remain a weakness within me unless my whole being reaches a point of those brothers above where I desire the hereafter so much more than I desire this life. Those brothers listed above their focus was not in Dunya it was in the hereafter and they only took from this world what they needed and that was all. Luxuries of life of the two base desires that Al Ghazali writes about the mouth and the private parts are the two weaknesses that should be contained. For someone to desire P he only needs to have a weakness in one of these areas to be vulnerable to the desire for P or just straight out Zinna. Humanity hasn't changed. What was important about the Deen then is the same that is important about the Deen today. Every decision you make the Deen should be considered first. If you can't say that it is then you have soul searching to do. Be that whether you decide to take a second wife or remain in a polygynous one you have to consider Deen first.

To enjoy marriage P or otherwise you must desire peace as your spouse/spouses should be cooling to your eyes and your home should be a place of rest and relaxation. If your decision for P is steeped in fitnah then you are doing a disservice to Deen and you leave your children, your wives, and yourself open to full frontal assault from the Shaytan. I know that there is wisdom in P I have seen it and you have seen it. Looking at Safa and many of the other sisters involved in P you see a strength that is admirable. We all look at Safa and pity her situation as dire as it is, but at the same time you see her strength, the development of her Deen, her dependence on Allah. If you go back a year you can see that she wasn't at this place in her Deen a year ago. She's grown and she's stronger, and that is admirable. Allah knows what he's doing let there be no doubt about that.

Just think about it. I know I'll have to chase around the net to find responses to this post and that is ok, but just know the same trifling a$$ men that we have today existed in the time of the Prophet. The more things change the more they stay the same.


  1. Maash'Allah Mo! This is an excellent post and a good reminder to us all. Please keep it in your heart, insha'Allah.

    Salaam Alaikum,

  2. salaams brother muhammad:
    i'm not quite sure of the flavor of your post, but i'm kinda dense...;-) anyway, i'm thinking polygyny in sahaba days was a normal thing. there's a story about women who were discussing being 'wives' with Umar and didn't want to because he was too harsh.

    Hassan and Hussein both had more than one wife, as did Ali after Fatimah died, and most men back then. There were also those who had only one wife, not caring for the headache. I'm not sure polygyny, per se, was that big of a deal because it was much more prevalent. Islam came to straighten out the numbskulls who abused women and were probably not very good even with just one woman.

    Islam came to remind people that Allah was always watching and keeping tabs, and that Muhammad, the most perfect example, demonstrated his love for women, and how to treat them. We had those who opted to mimic him and those who still acted the fool. The percentages of these groups may vary now--and i certainly don't believe women sharing men has gotten any less---it happens legally or not.

    Again, it all goes back to picking men (and women) who are pious and being the best Muslims they can be. This way, whatever tests that come, whether through polygyny, death, poverty, war, pestulance--or whatever blessings come, whether through polygyny, wealth, health, fame, poverty, war, sickness (doesn't it always boil down to attitude?)---Insha'allah, the brother and the sister(s) will act like they have some real Islamic sense. Insha'Allah.


  3. Salaams:

    one more thing: although Hugh Hefner hardly represents a pious Muslim and has a ridiculously (and proboably over hyped) uber-sexed persona, his 'marriage' to the three women pictured can be an example of 'how' to manage successfully in polygyny.

    subtract the immodesty---and btw, from what i hear none of them are tippin' to other men/women---and check out the fact that the girls are intelligent, have their own lives and interests and strengths and do not compete with each other. Hugh loves them and appreciates them, does not compete with them and gives them their time, respects their differences and allows them to be who they are.

    we can truly learn some things from anyone in this world and with our Islamic parameters, we can probably 'work it' better than those who we got it from. Masha'Allah.


  4. Don't take it overly personal PM but please don't call me Mo. I don't really like that as a Name it reminds me of the Arabs in the innercity that sell liquor and cigarettes. I don't take a lot of things seriously but it is just one of those things I don't like.

  5. I keep reading these blogs looking for someone in a happy polygomous marriage. I need direction. I am a second wife and sometimes it is hard but truthfully marriage at whatever cost is better then an affair and anyone who does not think that is missing the point. I wantch my husband struggle with making things work. His first wife is in Pakistan and he misses her he misses his daughter. And so i have decided we all should live in Pakistan. BTW I am very scared of this decission i have made. I am scared that going from where no one knows to where everyone can tell will be very difficult I also realize for the first time i will have to share him all the time not just a few months a year. but i want his child and his first wife to be able to spend time with him. So in the next two months i will pack up my house and move across the world because I love him.

  6. I really wanted to answer to you. Moving across the water will be a true test of faith. You will not have a support structure and you will be entirely subject to the treatment of the family. A lot of times if the other wife is feeling animosity the entire family will lash out.

    My advice to you is to contact the first wife and get a good feel of how you will be received. This will allow you to mentally prepare your self for what is coming up next. Your husband may feel pressure to treat you differently so you must talk to him and lay out some ground rules before you get into the arena.

    I think that it is a blessing the sacrifice you are making and I am more than sure you will receive the highest reward for it, however you must remember that you will be tested in everything you confess by Allah so take your test in stride.

    I pray for you and you are in my Dua. Oh Allah bless her in the decision that she has made, Increase her faith and make her and her family one that is in your Shade on The Day of Judgment Ameen.