Saturday, August 11, 2007

Temptation and Sexual Power

Flirting can be an addiction. Really it is the attention that one wants, however it is a deadly game. There are two types of flirting passive flirting and aggressive flirting. Passive flirting is when there is no chance of taking anything to the next level. Like flirting with someone in a town that you are passing through and will probably never see again in your whole life. This type of flirting is the least dangerous unless one is consumed by flirting entirely and does it all the time even when it is not safe.

The next level of flirting is double passive flirting. This is the kind that is normally done in a work place where you see people all the time. You joke with them and make innuendos but nothing is ever taken seriously and nothing is wanted from the other person except the mutual stroking of egos. This type is dangerous because if an event were to happen that someone had to confide in the person they are flirting with then there is a door open for something else to grow, because both persons have their foot planted in the pot, and out of it grows whatever. However the basis of this relationship is very shallow and is one that usually will not last past the first strong wind.

The last type of flirting is aggressive flirting where one individual actively goes after and tries to woo the other individual. There are requests for dates and other ways to stay in contact. This type of flirting can be good or bad depending on the status of the person. If they are married then this would definitely be a bad idea unless they were trying to get a second wife. Then probably even more so.

Reflecting on my friend and his situation I can only imagine how he wound up in the place where he is. I imagine it started by working closely with a woman and not realizing his own weaknesses. From that he began talking and the hole that he had let root itself in his marriage was filled by this woman, and now she is in a position where he cannot remove her from the place whence she filled. It is a devastating position for his wife and I feel sorry for them. Knowing where you are and what your weaknesses are is very important when you are married. I know my weaknesses. When I first came here I was very horny, I mean it was ridiculous. So I stayed indoors for the most part. The only women that I came into contact with were those Indonesian girls that I told you about, and there was not an open door there. I then stayed inside and kept to myself. After I started praying my prayers in the Masjid then my horniness subsided and I began to venture out. I am glad I did because it became blatantly evident that I was not in Virginia any more. The women in Virginia are made out the same mold with mild alterations here and there, but it isn't Miami or California or Hawaii where you have to do a double-take every five seconds (if you're looking that is.) The women here are drop dead gorgeous, and they flirt so being in my state I would have probably been vulnerable to getting myself in a situation that I wouldn't want to be in.

Even though I was in the state that I was in however I thoroughly and completely didn't want anyone other than my wife. To me she fulfills my every desire so I would reflect on those experiences and although I would look I didn't want anyone else. That is a feeling of empowerment to be in control of yourself when you are faced with a beautiful person and there isn't anything that you want from them. You can acknowledge them for their beauty and leave it at that. You don't have to flirt with them or anything, because you don't want anything from them. I have met many beautiful women since I've been here either professionally or in the course of necessary business and it is a relief that I can acknowledge their beauty without wanting any more from them. It is a condition that I reflect on in contrast to my youth or single years where there was almost a desperation to have them notice me and converse with them and get to know them. Then again maybe I'm just old and those heady years are gone, but either way it is nice to know that my weakness is under control and I am not a slave to it as I once was.

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