Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Reflections on single life

Slowly and surely it is starting to sink in. That I am single. I went to Applebee's tonight for their military appreciation meal. My food was free, my drink wasn't Kiwi Strawberry drank. LOL. So as I sat there reading through my Montessori in the Classroom book by Laura Polk Lillard and reflecting back on my relationship (I know I said I wasn't going to say anything else about it). It rang through my head that Lies will destroy everything you love. You can get deep into it and reflect on belief vs. Disbelief, but tonight wasn't that kind of night for me. Tonight I was just thinking about my kids, my marriage and my life. I sat there in my stall alone reading how children learn language effectively in an indirect way. It was very interesting and then I went on to practice some drills out of my Break-through rapid reading by Peter Kump and I found out that I am a woefully inadequate reader. 120 words a minute and even less than that in comprehension. It could have been that it was late and my brain had slowed down but still that is like the bottom of the barrel in reading and comprehension. So I will have to do something about it.

I had started writing this post on this day but I didn't finish and now I forget the thrust of what it was that I was writing. I am writing this on 11/18/2008 but the post date is on the day that I started. I hate that. When you start writing you should just finish so that it is all good. I was definitely depressed and reflective on that day. Sakinah makes it look so easy, she just stops and moves on and I realize what my problem is. I want justice, but there is no justice to be had it is just over that is all. It is just over and I am sad, but life will go on. It doesn't stop just because you had a bad day and if you don't change your attitude about it you will have a bad day tomorrow as well. I'm sure I will pick this thread up somewhere in the future. We will see.

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