Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Reconciliation

I finished Juz 2 today and this is funny because I am going through my history of whom visits my site and it is back to normal no one does. Except those looking for the repair of a Dell adapter. That's fine I suppose that is better than a whole bunch of people coming in and checking out what is going on in my life. So anyway I read Quran today and the Ayat that jumped out at me was 2:231:

And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, either take them back on reasonable basis or set the free on reasonable basis. But do not take them back to hurt them, and whoever does that, then he has wronged himself. And treat not the Verses (Laws) of Allah as a jest, but remember Allah's Favours on you (i.e. Islam), and that which He has sent down to you of the Book (i.e. the Quran) and Al-Hikmah (the Prophet's Sunnah - legal ways - Islamic jurisprudence) whereby He instructs you. And fear Allah, and know that Allah is All-Aware of everything.

Basically what I got out of this is if you take your wife back you have to be all in. You can't straddle the fence. Now after everything that we've gone through we are at the point of what is going on. I have to decide whether or not I can do it, and the thing is that I know I can. I still love my wife and I think that we can make it work it is just trusting in Allah to make it all better.

I've been talking to a counselor and she recommends that I speak to a psychologist and I have put that into the works. This is for my A.D.D I really have to get it under control. I have found that the more things change the more they stay the same, but all and all is keeping a positive outlook. I realize that I cast negativity onto situations in my life that affects their outcome. I have been given orders to Alameda, 17 minutes away from Zaytuna which I am looking forward to being an active part of that community. I am looking forward to being close to Sheik Zaid and Sheik Hamza however from what I understand they are very busy people always traveling and hardly there most of the time, but still I am looking forward to it.

So the way things look is that I will get back with my wife and call it a day. We had the polygamy talk again and I said that my position is the same as it has always been. If you don't beg me to marry someone I won't. The only difference now is I won't fantasize about it.

Life goes on, my kids are more important than the headache of women. I have been through so much during these last three years. My attitude has changed. I regret not keeping to my studies and prayers (my effort in them not forsaking them), but I am looking at it all as a learning experience. Jonah taught us well. There is no escape from Allah except to Him. Realize the True Reality and submit completely to Him.


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