Sunday, January 30, 2011

I need to keep my bedtime

So I imposed a bedtime on myself of 10pm right. I felt that if I went to bed a 10 then I would have enough energy to pretty much run my whole day. Well I always stay up 2 or more hours past curfew. So as I write this I am exhausted, and well I should be. It was time for me to go to bed and lo and behold I find myself up putzing about doing Allah knows what. So this morning I'm sleepy. I have finished Juz 7 and the only Ayat that sticks out for me is where Isa (AS) says to the disciples are you my helpers and they say yes and they ask for food to be shown that they are indeed special so that Allah will give them a sign from Him. Then Allah gives the condition that if they turn back or not do what they are commanded then they are going to have to pay consequences.

So I thought to myself how often do we do that? Oh Allah if you give me x and x then I will be so grateful. You will truly find me of the grateful servants if you give me xyz. So then a LOT of times Allah does give us xyz and what do we do? Carry on like it never even happened. This theme is repeated elsewhere in the Quran as well. I reflect on how many times I have called on Allah in dire need and have been delivered and wham I am out of my distress. Then what do I turn around and do? Nothing spectacular. I owe Allah so much right now I am in complete debt, in this life and in the hereafter. It is not even funny how bankrupt I am.

All of the things that I was supposed to do upon getting free that I have effectively put on the back burner of someday. We all have fallen into this trap. Like can we say that we will take each day to talk about Allah and invite someone to Islam? We should, each day we should do something. So I will start posting to Youtube again. I have been moved to do this so Insha Allah I will keep it up.

My daughter is praying now so I got her up for Fajr. I am sleepy though so I am going back to bed before they all get up and I get absolutely no sleep. I have a full cleaning day ahead of me.

Have a good day.



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