Saturday, September 16, 2006

Where in tarnation is my Stamp?

Ok the word on the street is that the Eid Stamp will be out on the 6th of October. I'm concerned because that is the only stamp that I choose to use and place on the envelope the correct way. All other stamps I mail upside down especially ones with flags on them. I do this in protest of the attrocities that my nation does abroad and at home. My own silent rebellion.

Ramadhan will be going good by the time it is released. It is important that you purchase your Eid stamp for failure to do so would mean that it would stop being printed. This is the reason that I always buy them.

Zakaria designed the stamp and I have looked for him when I was in Alexandria to try to learn Calligraphy but was unsuccessful. I've seen Haji Noor Deen Mi Guangjiang's stuff and it is exquisite. I would like to learn Calligraphy and make a family copy of the Quran in our own handwritting. Then Bind it and keep it special. I think that writing helps you to appreciate the beauty of the Quran. Maybe one day I will take an extended visit to Turkey and learn how. That is where Zakaria learned.

Now on to Islamic trinkets, why is it that here in the states whenever you want to buy Islamic art for your home or Islamic Accents that they are all this taiwan cheap plastic rubbish. I was thinking of starting a web site just for "median to high" marketable Islamic wares for the home. I think that they could do well enough if the quality was there. In every clime of the Islamic or actually societal evolution there comes a stage where art and the arts take off. It seems to me in our moment in time these things are dead. Looking back on the old architecture and designs of the simple things there was a lot of depth to them and beauty. Nowadays everything is mass marketed and cheap. My mom really nailed quality into my psyche and if stuff is cheap I will be more than satisfied to go without.

My next project. If you are a packrat type of frugal person then you will be plagued with clutter. So I have proposed to my wife that the clothes have got to go. They are the single most messying up item in our home. We have way too many clothes. All over the place which lends to us having industrial sized laundry days. Which can be severely overwhelming. So I have decided to whittle our clothes stock down to 14 outfits each. 14 for spring and summer and 14 for fall and winter. Then two sets of Eid outfits. This is a beautiful plan however it never works, but these clothes have got to go. It will work if I demand that one outfit goes if a new outfit is bought. They gotta go go go. Foot. I'll start that today.

Today is B'day. Big Whoop. I've got nothing planned except kissing my wife and holding her in my arms. There is usually nothing to buy for Dad's because everything that they want is super expensive. Bike, Camera, Palm Pilot cell phones, laptop computers. So we normally go without and suffice that our family has everything that it needs. Nothing expected for me today, maybe a good meal, but my wife always cooks good meals. I love her so much. Baye I love you.

I've gotta do better with Nainab it's really Zainab but that is what my daughter calls her or used to before she could pronounce the Z. I try to impress upon her that she needs to do the basics. Last night she wanted to read to us as a family but she didn't do her room for the whole day yesterday so I told her no. Now I've told her in order to get privileges she has to do her chores and have them checked. Once they are checked then she is not immediately responsible if they get messed back up again. As long as they are checked. She also has her homework that needs to be checked these two things enable her to have special priviledges. Most of the time she refuses to do them so most of the time I refuse special priviledges. It took her a week to go to paragon because she simply refused to do her chores and have them checked. I have told her that the answer is always yes if you have your stuff done and we can afford it, but still she refuses to do her stuff, so I'm like what do I need to do to get through to her?

In her I can see disaster brewing and I need to remain focused on avoiding it. I have to give her dedicated father daughter attention and I need to do it now, because six months from now she will be unstoppable in making my fears a reality. I've told her that I want to do things with her and I really do. There is this one program that will teach her entreprenurial skills that I want to enroll her in. I haven't talked to my wife about it, I don't know why I just sometimes get ideas and shove them into the back of my head. Well here it is Baye there is this Davinci kids program that I want to enroll Zainab in. I also want to sign her up for Paragon for their homeschool gym program. So there I said it. She gets really upset when I don't talk, vocalize what I'm thinking. That is what being an only child will do for you, people take them or leave them, you know how to be alone. So but anyway with her I think that the next thing that I'm going to start doing is making her get up and get dressed in nice clothes and carry herself well. She is very smart and outgoing and I think that she can really be someone to be proud of. I suppose I got lazy at some point and kind of stepped back from molding her into someone I could be proud of. This is where patience and focus comes in. I need to focus on where I want our relationship to go.

My kids in Hawaii. So anyway I asked my kids mother if my son who wants to come and live with me if he could. She said no, so I'm like why and she did a bunch of run around but in the end she said because I was Muslim. Ooh this really burned my chaps. Now I'm here to give a warning to all of you Muslims out there who believe that you are going to marry a woman and conform her to our religion. That goes to sisters with co-wives as well, you should tell him if he must fine (you are or not going for it) but she has to be Muslim or something. Some brothers do make it work and they have beautiful families, but those who fail the results can be tragic.

My ex she came into Islam by me "giving her the Dawah" as so many females do. She studied and wore hijab and everything and then she started hanging out with the wrong crowd and Shazola she wigged out. It started out gradual. Now I don't know ultimately if her rejection of Islam was induced by our problems because we had serious communication issues. However that aside she studied and knew the truth of Christianity its origins the creation of the Trinity and everything and testified that it was all false. She starts hanging out with the neighborhood riff-raff and her Deen deteriorates to nothing. My fault is that I had hope for her and was reading reliance of the traveler and gave her Deen the benefit of the doubt and went with the ruling that the mother is supposed to get the kids. Well 5 years later that ruling no longer applies and my kids are stuck, and legally I am out of favor of getting them back. There are a lot of shoulda, woulda, couldas to this story but in the end I'm saying if you don't want your children being groomed for the hellfire then marry someone who is serious about their Deen.

I'm expecting drama for next years visitation. She actually said that she wanted me to support her in raising the children Christian, needless to say the conversation didn't end very well. She made promises to Allah of what she would and would not do I choose to hold her accountable on the Day of Judgement. My son doesn't believe any of the Christian position but goes and plays with the other kids just as any kid would. My daughter likes the attention and doesn't look at the religion in an analytical sense. We will see how it ultimately turns out.

It is a good thing that mortals are not in charge of dispensing Allah's punishments because I would have certainly struck her down with a lightening bolt in the middle of her prayer circle in broad daylight without a cloud in the sky. Leaving only her shoes and charred feet, right after she said something false about Islam and the Muslims. My only recourse now is to become a Wali of Allah, but that is something that is hard if not impossible to do with anger and resentment in your heart. Even if it is for a good cause. The person to be afraid of is not the person with the biggest gun, the person to be afraid of is the person whose prayers are answered instantly by his Lord. I made a prayer when I feel my Deen was better, and so far there are only two more requirements to be met concerning her, I am patient.

I owe Allah so much more. How badly am I falling short, I am so short. Allah I beseech your forgiveness. So much more.

1 comment:

  1. Interesting that you have your own silent rebellion. I suppose we all have some of those.....

    I think it's a great idea for downsizing the closets. I've done the same thing about organizing things to a more workable load. The fewer clothes you have, the more you take care of them, and the less HUGE piles of laundry you have. I'd rather have 2 perfect outfits, then 5 okay ones. One thing that I did when downsizing was got rid of anything, ripped, stained or raggedy. Don't forget those.

    The ex-wife thingy sounds difficult. It also seems like she knows how to "get ur goat" with the "because ur muslim" comment. OUCH!