Thursday, September 25, 2008

The reality of Slavery

The Kunta Kente band consist of two pieces. The transmitter on my foot and the GPS transceiver that I have to wear on my belt. This tag-team apparatus forms a deadly yoke to the reality of slavery. Supposedly this program is to allow low-risk criminals an exit back into society. However this is only a system of odds. Like the parole system the odds are stacked against the parolee. To be placed on an extended parole of several years is only a testament in numbers and probability. One has only one mishap to be placed back in the penitentary until time served has been expended.

This morning I forgot my Transceiver on the way to work. I was called by my Mom and promptly turned around and retrieved it. This has happened a couple of times. How often do you forget something on the way to work? How often if you are rushing out of the house is that thing elusive. Not everyday, but when you start counting the little "out of range" errors here and there that seem to be adding up against me the proposition seems hopeless.

I called my lawyer and told him that I need this thing off my foot. I told him that I don't even have to see my kids I just need this thing off of my foot. So hopefully he can do something about this nonesense. It is so disheartening to know that your life lies in the balance, and yet maybe it would be just another test from Allah. Allahu Alim. All of my fears have been addressed in this short period of time and now it is possible that the fear of incarceration will be addressed as well. For something that I didn't even do. A deep breath and a prayer. Oh Allah please save me from this terrible thing. Oh Allah please forgive me my sins and admit me amongst the righteous. La Illaha Illallah.

Times like these I think about death. If I should die in incarceration who will remember me and for what? Who will make dua over me and will my life have been worth living? We shall see....

I am not afraid of death and I would prefer it over incarceration even if only for a month or more. That however could be construed as cowardice, but surely the taste of death is sweeter than imprisonment, the hours that I spent were too long, but in everything Allah has a plan, and it is possible that I have been disobedient. I am not going to be a pawn for the system, but I submit to Allah and I pray for strength of whatever He has for me.

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