Saturday, March 15, 2008

Two Lessons

I always tell my children that there are two lessons in life the ones that your parents teach you (the short and sweet lessons) and the ones that Allah teaches you for not listening to your parents (these normally take years to get it through your thick skull). I suppose as you get older it then becomes the advice of those who have experienced the things that you are going through and warn you about the outcomes.

I reflect on Safa. We all know and love Safa and we all wished her well and we gave her good advice on what she needed to do to be happy and had she listened her ordeal would have been over two years ago. However she did not and she wound up with an extra child and an additional years of pain. The child was going to come regardless of whether or not she stayed in Canada the first time or not. The point is sometimes you have to accept that people sometimes choose Allah's test. I knew that this was her choice when she left. I realized that there wasn't anything that any of us could really do about her decisions the only thing we could do was to be there when she stumbled and fell and give her encouragement.

It is hard to see someone you care about making the wrong decisions, but you have to realize that sometimes that is their choice to make and sometimes they choose the long road. It is just that Allah's tests are Sooooo long I mean two years it took Safa two years to get free and become happy. There really is nothing that you can do though except be there and sometimes you just have to accept that.


  1. Alhamdulillah.....I hope I've lost some sins for choosing the test....

  2. Insha Allah Safa. You have definitely gained strength and perseverance that you would not have gained if you just listened to us. The thing about Allah's tests are if you hold on to your faith is that you are more thankful on the other side than if you just take the advice and keep going. Sometimes you just have to see for yourself. I pray that you are able to benefit and pass your wisdom on to others. There is a reason for everything even those things that seem bad. You can only pray that your suffering is a testimony to others and helps others find away out of their darkest hour. You are an inspiration Safa, and maybe that is your blessing.

  3. I have to remember that as I deal with a friend you is choosing to stay in an abusive relationship (mentally and physically). May Allah make it easy for her to leave and may be give me the patience to listen to her stories day in and out...

  4. Assalamu alaikum, I used to read Safa's blog (until she made it private). And I feel sad for not commenting. I know she said that she had a problem with a Lurker? Inshallah, it wasn't me! Reading her blog gave me strength! And I definitely understand that sometimes you gotta do things in your own time, my first husband was physically abusive to me and it took me 3 attempts to leave before I was successful!

    It's hard to get past being afraid of being alone, to repair your self-esteem, and get the strength it takes to walk away. And it's just so easy to tell someone in that situation to leave!

    Inshallah, Safa is well, and I miss reading her stories!

  5. As Salaamu Alaikum Brother:

    It's not that Safa "didn't listen." It's a process, brother, she had to do it when she was ready, not because we wanted her to.

    I understand, though, the pain of witnessing someone struggling in that process.

  6. I understand that it is a process. A process that we all must go through when we are faced with things in life. We all evolve when we are ready to accept the reality that life presents us with.