Friday, March 14, 2008


What is it? Is it the things we have? Is it our Deen? Is it a state of mind? Will we have it if we have that thing? That person? That job? Those kids? The truth is I don't know, but it is absent in a troubled heart and then it leaves one longing for it searching for it in everything outside of themselves when happiness is found inside.

When there are things that we really want we get a feeling that they will make us happy when in actuality we will just be as miserable as we were before with this thing that we really wanted, which will only leave us looking for something else.

Loneliness, indebtedness, Sadness are all states of mind that can be controlled by a sense of purpose and an acceptance of those things that one cannot change and a positive outlook on the rest of life.

Depression for many is a choice. It is something that can be substantiated in just about every sphere of life. When I got divorced the first time I made a conscience choice to not get depressed. It helped tremendously because I was really sad. When I started going through this with my wife I made a choice not to get depressed, but it was substantially harder not to break down completely because I love her soooo much more. It hurts but if you look at the pain as an expiation for your sins then I suppose that is something positive to look at. There is no physical pain that is truly equal to the pains of the heart. Physical pain can be numbed with drugs but emotional pain will be there as long as you sit there holding it. It was funny we found that our pain was at a specific location and when we went back to that location sure enough that is exactly where we left it. The solution is to stop going there and checking on it to see how it is doing. It is still there.

So now you have to find happiness with yourself and you can't always do it unless you practice being happy fake it until you make it. Because your Deen won't make you happy no matter how often you change it. Stuff won't make you happy no matter how much more of it you purchase. Your spouse won't make you happy no matter how great they are. Happiness is inside and it is a commandment from Allah because he goes through great lengths to show you that you should be thankful. Surah Rahman is something that anyone should read if they are sad and becoming depressed or experience loss. It helps.

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