Suicide

I'm going to commit Suicide
But not in the traditional sense of the Term

Now hairs standing on ends
So wait, listen, learn

I'm not going to pull the trigger
Though one provided every three days

I won't blow my brains out
no that is not the way

And no I wont grab the blade
and make concentric rows

And wail unto the heavens
and end all my woes

And no not the boric acid
and definitely not the bleach

So many imaginative ways
all well within my reach

But I'm going to commit Suicide
but not the traditional sense of the term

Hearts maybe shaking now
still you must wait and learn

Defining myself of who I am
and what I do

There is something inside me
whose time is definitely through

He waits until tomorrow
He doesn't seize the day

He is content in watching all that matters
Slowly drift away

He doesn't ever say thank you
even more seldom please

He festers and languishes
that disgusting disease

He doesn't give an effort
He doesn't even try

It's him that I speak of
That bastard has to die

How can I kill him
Now I must think of a way truly profound

So that when he's dead
It will affect everyone around

This is delicate and much care taken
Not a typical Suicide you know

But it must be effective
That bastard has to go

No he won't be missed
And definitely won't be mourned

His stench and stupid, laziness
that leave everything cast and torn

His half completed projects
and partially formed ideas

And all of the rest of his Shit
I've collected through the years

I was happy you son of a bitch
now look at what you've done

I'm going to grab that 12 guage
So you better run

I know you won't think I'll do it
and soon you can relax

But your ass is sadly mistaken
you just don't have the facts

I'm going to kill your ass
and live this day and each that come behind it

And you will be missing your life
But in me you will not find it

Yes I'm going to commit Suicide
But not in the traditional sense of the term

Killing the malingering inside me
That lying lesioned festering worm

Oh yes I'm going to kill you
Oh yes I must succeed
for you have failed me all my life
taking everything I need

You took my dreams and aspirations
Then filled my heart with fear

scuttled my opportunities
and all that I hold dear

You shut my mouth and held it closed
When I tried to speak

So I confided in you
Then you made me weak

You went all the way
and did not stop
Even sabotaged my Deen

You are not were never my friend
You are just evil, decrepit, mean

Take my life my happiness
my children's smiles, my wife's caress
my wealth, my career, my life

I'm going to kill you
you son of a bitch and then take back my life

I was born to live, grow, produce
Not waste away in your refuse

You sickly sullen man
But with all my strength and all my might
Kill you yes I can

So I'm going to commit Suicide
But not the traditional sense of the term

For life is still yet beautiful
and something I must earn

I tried to kill him once before
but he came back again
Increasing me in weakness,
fortifying sin

So now I must commit Suicide
and yes without regret

For living life without him
each moment is heaven sent

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I normally don't do this but I must say that this poem is not about suicide. I have to say this because there are several people in the world that feel really hopeless and would be duped into justifying their actions after reading it and I don't want any part of that.

This poem is about that little voice inside of us all that craves failure. For some odd un self preserving manner it is the voice that causes us to never act on ideas or take chances. Only later to regret and live in the past.

This poem is about killing that voice that lies in us all.