Monday, April 27, 2009

Down with se7en on to Eight




Yes the 21st was a very hard day you recognize the problem, you find out a solution for the problem and then you try to implement it. However to do this fully you must truly be disciplined or completely ambivalent. So the solution is you can't talk to me except about the children or business. Simple enough right? Right, but it only lasted a few days until something else happened that caused me to transcend this whole nonsense and look at it for what it truly is. Bullshit.

So after you get to the point of clarity then you have to begin to look at other certain issues from the essence and the essence of this situation is insecurity. Insecurity: an endless black hole of constant searching for validation, a constant searching for reassurance followed by a hollow shell of person void of self. It makes no sense but looking at everything in context it all makes perfect sense. The irrational logic, the constant validation, the unending copycat one-up-man ship that is shear madness finally comes into context as you helplessly watch the one you love flailing in their bed of misery. Like watching a crack-head walking like a zombie for a next fix and constantly in pockets.

Looking at this on the other side of the mirror I can see everything in the background. The things that weren't seen and I can watch the process in action. I can see the innocent lined-up and set, sized and filleted. Like a deer in headlights he is transfixed on the tracks and before he will know what is happening he will be split apart by the deafening sound of inevitability, discarded and buried in a well of despair. You really can't say what comes around goes around because that happens on the daily and it is a hell that the actors are trapped in.

I apologize for saying much and not saying anything at all in the guise of diplomacy. In the post to come things will be clearer. However it is best left unsaid. I on the other-hand am doing just fine and now that there are no rose colored glasses to deal with I can see clearly. Clear sight is a blessing from the Most High and it soothes the soul.

There are a whole lot more reflections that I have and maybe a couple of polls. Emptiness is a horrible condition.

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