Sunday, March 29, 2009

I don't have it to give.

So I'm sitting and chatting it up with my Housemate We'll call her Belle about relationships and what a woman needs and the reasons women cheat and stuff and just basic women emotional maintenance needs, and I am just like I can't do any of that crap right now. I don't want to do any of that crap right now, I don't have the energy to do any of that crap right now. I sat back and imagined what would actually happen if I were to meet someone that I actually wanted to talk to? "Hi my name is Muhammad and I think you are cute and interesting, but I don't have any energy for a relationship or your bullcrap right now, but I am working on it do you mind if I call you when I feel better?" Seriously folks I realize some things. I realize that I may have taken my wife for granted when we were married, and it is possible that I didn't make her feel the most loved. I mean I am listening to this laundry list of needs that my housemate is telling me and I am just like you know what maybe I wasn't proactive. That is possible, I don't have the energy nor desire to be proactive now. It does feel good to have your ego stroked once in a while, but I don't feel like putting up the initial effort that it takes to get someone else to that point.

Screw Love, for me it is just Allah, Making people feel good about life, dropping some sketches of wisdom and living this life that I have been given to make each day better than the last. However my relationship clock is definitely on hold.

I'm done, I don't care anymore either, well at least right now. I don't. I don't feel like buying flowers or opening doors or giving compliments or being the knight in shining armor. Girls can keep their coochies to themselves and keep on walking cause I really don't want to deal with it. I don't feel like touching anyone. I don't feel like making love to anyone. I don't feel like holding anyone. Women are beautiful and they are beautiful to look at, but that is about as far as I want to take it. Seriously.

peace

It is late, I'm tired and I didn't proof-read it so if I said something stupid expect it to get deleted when I wake up.

I proofread it that is pretty much the jist.

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