Friday, October 13, 2006

Trifling Muslim Men

Yeah I know I’m a Muslim Man, but I have to say something about the abuse and pettiness and ignorance of our situation. Alhamdulillah Sisters are pouring into Islam, but AstaghfirAllah they are running out of it as well due to the trifling petty nature of male/ female relationships of Muslims in the Deen. Now if you are a female know this the Deen IS perfect the MEN are by and large NOT. This is some of the sheer ignorance that you need to be appraised of in any relationship. What pisses me off is that some Muslim Men use this under the guise of this Deen to sanction these actions. Women know this the only thing that you are responsible for in Male / Female relationships are that you are only responsible for yourself. He is responsible for everything else.


Trifling stuff I’ve heard of:


  1. Wife beating under the misuse of the beat them lightly verse.
    1. There is no such order or permission to be beaten down to the point of bruising or hospitalization or even death. If a man has touched you in any of the above manners (except death because then it is his problem) then you need to consider leaving or taking a Jui-Jitsu class to defend yourself and your children.
  2. Not providing sustenance.
    1. The man has to provide sustenance on a level “that you are willing to accept”. There is no point of living in squalor if you have not suffered a significant family casualty, or there is some imposed economic strife placed upon you.
  3. Forced Polygamy.
    1. You are not forced into polygamy. If you are not down with it you have recourse to leave and receive child support if any are involved. It is NOT the Sunnah of Islam, it is an allowance. In the West it is an allowance that should be agreed upon. Shaytan will have a man believing that he is the only good husband in the world and thus must swoop down and “save” all of the helpless Muslimahs of the world, but this is not the case. You have the option to Leave, leave, leave.
    2. Section 8 is not a justification for a man to have multiple wives running around just because their housing is only costing him $50 per family.
    3. In a small community or tight knit larger communities it is essential that the children of polygamy know each other to prevent incest.
  4. Child abuse.
    1. There is no excuse for this. Call the cops and get a new man, because it will not get better in 99.9% of the cases. Child abuse is formed through psychological conditioning that has taken place over years and years and will not go away on a whim. The Prophet said that those of you who were good before Islam will maintain that status and those who weren’t will struggle with that (that is a GROSS paraphrasing, but it is in there)
  5. Lola Marriages.
    1. Do NOT marry your Teen/Pre-Teen daughters to Full grown men. What the hell is that? It is a STUPID idea Nuff Said.
  6. Cheating on wives.
    1. Fornication is punishable in Islam. If your man has fornicated, committed Zina then I suggest you view him as if he was caught by an Islamic court of law and proven guilty. Then psychologically you can write him off as dead, because that is exactly what should happen, especially in the case where children are born.
  7. Restricting access to education
    1. Restricting access to education whether Islamic or Secular is tantamount to oppression. It is a commandment from Allah and the Prophet to seek knowledge. I.E the first revealed verse Read! (People will debate the context but it still aspires to forward intellectual, spiritual progress and when you don’t Read it becomes evident that you are falling behind.)
  8. Giving her the DAWAH
    1. The fastest way to bring girls into Islam unfortunately is sex (more unfortunately not even good sex sometimes). Sex under any circumstance is nothing to base a relationship on, religion notwithstanding. It last for a few moments but often affects an entire lifetime. He who emigrates for Allah finds Allah, He who emigrates for a thing finds a thing. Things (Women, green cards, wealth) FADE Allah does not. If you are going to become Muslim and are being Given the Dawah, leave that brother immediately and go and study on your own. Come to your own conclusion and if he hasn’t quickly replaced you (Like give it 2 years or something not 30 minutes) Then you can restart a relationship, through a Wali (with Sense).
  9. Green Card Escape
    1. Marrying for a green card is the oldest most trifling trick in the book. If your man is marrying you for a green card, by all means get paid up front. Jack up your dowry and get a prenuptial so that in the event he leaves you high and dry after he becomes a “Citizen” you can press your buttons and rake in your cash.


There are many other examples of sheer, gross and undeniable ignorance and abuse of everything condoned by Allah. I’m sure my blurkers and regulars can add to this list, but this kind of stuff pisses me off. My next post will be the marriage contract for my daughters, because I can guarantee you if a brother is going to be Trifling with my girls then he’s going to pay through the nose (that phrase has a gory history, gotta love those Vikings).


Girls the brothers who do these sorts of things aren’t men they are boys playing around with their daddy’s toys, and usually someone winds up hurt.  It is high time that someone put a stop to this nonsense.


I’m going to build a halfway house that’s what I’m gonna do so sisters can run and have a place to frigging stay. I can’t stand when people twist the Deen. Aoothubillah.


  1. Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu. Brother, yours is much needed voice in the wilderness! May it rise to the tops of the trees and rattle a few leaves, insh'Allah.

  2. and break a few branches!!!

  3. Insha Allah. Maybe one by one the word will get out there.

  4. Asalamalaykom,

    Good list...but sad that there is a list at all.

  5. Salaam,

    Yeah, I know this post is a couple of years old and all - did you build the halfway house yet? Lemme know if you did!

  6. No sister I have not. Insha Allah He will tell me what he truly wants from me and force me to do it. This is a good idea and Insha Allah I will do it some day.