Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pong



The volley has been served it is back in her court. Her move, her decision, her resolve, her courage. My milestone has been met. My roommate is gone. My house is empty awaiting the arrival of my family and the start of our new life. My fear is poised, but I am at peace.

Life will go on whether or not I want to live it. My kids will adjust to whatever decision that is made. The drama however will end and one way or another I will find peace and I pray that everyone else involved finds it as well. I apologize to all that have been hurt in this process.

On 6/12 we were supposed to get divorced. We didn't because of her surgery. Somewhere between then and 6/28 she poured it on. On 6/28 I cracked and broke down crying and crap at the thought that I could see us together again. It was tenuous this period but I reserved my position dead heart, willing to try, mostly because of the waiting on the side to see if she was actually serious or not. We went to counseling two of those weeks and they were mildly productive. However the shield of ambivalence protected me. Now I have told her what it is and lowered my shield only to get slapped in the face, but I slapped her first, but they were only words not actions. The actions are in her court now so I will be patient. It is so far off, can this be over one way or another.

Whatever...


2 comments:

  1. "can this be over one way or another.

    Whatever..."

    Maybe if you cared more and it wasn't just "come or not, WHATEVER" things might work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have my stand and my commitment. I am waiting for action or inaction either way it will end either together or apart.

    ReplyDelete