Thursday, July 30, 2009

Fears

Nothing can ruin progress more than fear. You live life, you tell it like it is, but fear will freeze you in your tracks and transfix you in the path of a charging grizzly as if you wanted to be eaten. That is what Fear does for you.

Apathy however placates fear by withdrawing completely, anything can happen and you won't even care. Apathy towards bill collectors is probably the best you can get. Apathy towards heartbreak leads to IDGAF attitudes. Vexed indeed apathy allows you to safely withdraw.

My scariest apathy though is apathy towards my Deen. That's a little hard to explain, because I don't feel like a kuffar but am apathetic about being a Munafiq so to speak. So I really don't know where I am in my Deen. It has taken a hit definitely and Tauba is elusive when you feel like it isn't sincere and how can it be with a IDGAF attitude? You want tauba but you can't really achieve it because for Tauba to be valid you have to have regret and you can't have regret if you don't GAF. So I am frigging STUCK and it is horrifying because when you did study you knew that this was a tough place to be in.

Believers I swear to Allah Subhannahu Wa T'ala when I say don't get here, it is a place of regrets.

Can I do this? Please give me strength, Ya Allah please!

1 comment:

  1. Regrets are GOOD!!!... it shows the heart is not dead yet!! A Munafiq shows no regret. It seems to me deep in your heart you are screaming for help.. and there is no answer, thus, the "ID..F" attitude. Realize that Allah(swt) will not be "knocking at your door" so to speak... He(swt) will use other means to get you aid... but you have to KEEP TRYING!!! Allah is with YOU.. in every situation!! and He(swt) LOVES for His slave to "call upon Him"!!! ..so KEEP MAKING THAT TAUBA!!! ..deep in the darkness of the night (Tahajjud. At first it might feel 'fake'.. but the simple fact you are DOING IT is enough to get 'ball rolling'!! Shaytaan wants us TO STOP TRYING.. to DESPAIR.. and that indeed is the path to ruin!!! , How can a heart be softened if not through constant/persistent polishing??? We are told that when making Du'aa one must "cry".. and if we are not able to, then to "make as though we are".. (words to the effect). Little by little our hardened heart will become more flexible and tears of repentance will shed easily... I don't know what else to tell you but to KEEP MOVING!!! there is no reason to have "fear"... Allah(swt) is ALL POWERFUL, and He(swt) knows us BETTER than we know ourselves..

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