Saturday, December 27, 2008

The Anatomy of the Break up

I finally understand now what my wife and friend meant when they said that they only just wanted me to choose them. Or rather me choose my wife and my friends husband just choose her. I suppose it is like that. I note some key things that went wrong with this relationship and in finality its break-up. At the very end with trust completely broken and everything there was only two things that I asked for that she moved out of THAT place and she represent me before the law and it would have been really nice for that to happen without me asking, prodding or begging, but alas it didn't and that translates into for me that I am just not that important. Without trust you are subjected to the other persons interpretations of your actions. We have no trust so the other persons actions are nothing but hostile. Everything is hostile and that is how important trust is. She doesn't want to give up her place and then be forced to have to go and look for a new one if things go badly which is understandable and I don't want to move into a place that I have had the cops called on me and the place that she moved to for her own personal "space". Bad connections all around. This can be stopped, but it is not. I could suck up my pride and say ok baby you are the sun, moon and stars and I will do anything to make it work, but that would be at the price of stripping all of my manhood and dignity and that really isn't a good situation. She could pack it up and move to where I want to move, but that would leave her vulnerable to my
"devious" plans if that is what she fears. So it follows the same track. Break-down of communication, violation of trust, lack of trust, ego inflation and inflexibility. It can be ended at anytime if someone would lean to one side, but in essence we are both saying I will do it when the other person bends and no one wants to be the first to do that. So that is how it will end. In the end the egos win out. My pride isn't bruised and her desires aren't compromised so in essence we both get what we want.

She will have other opportunities to go before the law and it will be interesting to see if it happens without movement from my side. What she wants I can give her IF she is with me, but I am not moving to that place. It doesn't have to end, but it is going to. I am confident she won't bend and I am confident that I won't either. Childish but it is effective at making a statement.

1 comment:

  1. I read this with great sadness. Why can't you two grow up and be adults here? Why do you have to let the ego or whatever get in the way of your family.

    You know the demons go before Ibliss everyday trying to gain his approval. He asks them what they have done. One might say, I made this person lie, Ibliss will say Oh that is nothing, then the next will say I made a man fornicate, he will say Oh that is nothing. Then when one of them says, I stayed with a husband and wife all this time until I was able to break their relationship and split up their family. Then Ibliss will say OH WELL DONE! COME AND SET NEXT TO ME!

    That is paraphrased.. but anyhow, I am sure you have heard or read the hadith before. SO WHY ARE YOU GONNA LET HIM WIN? Are you that weak in faith? Are you that gullible to believe or follow anything he whispers to you especially when it comes to your marriage? For crying out loud.. For a lack of better phrase.. Grow some balls and kick this divorce instigating devil to the curb and make things work with your wife.