Thursday, May 24, 2007

Honor

As most of you know I really love my wife. I don't think you understand how much I love her. Well let me tell you that I believe that I am the luckiest man in the world when it comes to love. Not that we don't have problems because we do it's just that Allah's blessings and our love helps us overcome so much.

So I'm going away right and I'll be gone for a while and I'm sitting here thinking of all of the temptations that will be waiting for me when I get there. I'm so happy Masha Allah all of my weaknesses which I know of I don't feel weak in. Now I really love my wife, but I'm a man and men are known to do really stupid things from time to time. So I think about my weaknesses and I try to envision me succumbing to them and Alhamdulillah I just can't. I can't fantasize about anyone else, I can't think about anyone else I can only think about my wife. This is my only relationship that this has been a reality. Ladies men think about other women that is just a fact that you have to accept. I occasionally trapse off in my mind about a relationship that I had in the past, but the presence of my love of my wife just shines through those thoughts and none of those relationships hold weight anymore. Even the fond thoughts of them fade. Even when I had two girlfriends that loved me and that knew about each other and didn't care doesn't stand up to my fond feelings that I have for my wife.

As a man I look, yes I know that we aren't supposed to but we are all human and no matter how fine the girl is she doesn't hold a candle to my wife, even after her C-section and even when she doesn't feel beautiful there just isn't a person out there that holds a candle to my wife in my heart.

I think about the stupid husband tricks like falling for someone else, but I really can't because I love my wife so much. I know this post is just an invitation for the Shaytan Aoothubillah, but I just have to say it my girl is awesome.

Like we had this conversation the other day we were reflecting on all of your situations (The p girls) and I was telling her what I was attracted to, of course this totally doesn't work for her, but I felt free to communicate it. I said that what endears me to a sister is the fact that you love her (as a sister) and cherish the relationship between you. This of course sucks because it means that she has to think about her friends before bringing them around me, and she guards cause those sisters that she doesn't trust she doesn't bring around me. Not that I know any of them anyways because when she has sisters over I have the kids and I'm leaving or I'm locked in my room, but anyway. So I told her that this aspect is what attracts me to sisters in terms of a polygamy setting, I can only love who she loves and of course naturally I dislike who she dislikes. There have been a few candidates over the years and all of them have been sisters that she held close to her heart. I feel that is more natural. Even so though I would never cross the line and approach someone that she loved for marriage behind her back. That would break the Rules. It's in the Quran go into homes through their proper doors.

It's funny because we casually talk about the people who she would and who she would not let me marry. We have a friend and they are having problems and she loves the sister very much, but I would not marry her, because there are too many Rules involved. I would want to, but I wouldn't. When they started having problems I wanted them to fix them for two reasons one they are/were are beautiful couple and it would be a real shame to see such a beautiful life go to waste, and secondly it would be a big fitnah if she were to come "available", but like I said there are too many Rules involved so the right answer no matter how tempting it would be and how much we would all work together to make it work would be no.

I don't however think about women who my wife isn't connected to. Like the cute cashier at Wal-mart for example or the hot body at the gym those people don't exist in my mind at all. They don't linger and their faces fade to black as soon as focus has shifted. Ladies all men look, it's natural, you look and that's fine. The Prophet said that the cure for it is to go home and make love to your wife. That isn't the reason we have six kids but it works. I guarantee if you are turned on by any other woman/ or man and you go and make love to your wife whom you love and cherish you won't have any problems with fidelity.

Now why did I rant about this I don't know. Really I don't but anyways, before I psychoanalyze myself I want to say that is how a bond should be. I completely trust my wife and I talk to her more than anyone else. For me she truly is Sakinah.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes you are out there Muhammad-honest-but out there.This was actually sweet although I had to mumble TMI a few times. :)

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