Sunday, November 26, 2006

More whining

I get like 40 hits a day on my site and several regulars but no one comments and when I ask questions they hardly ever get answered. Ok I’ll stop whining now.

I had an entry about insecurities of my wife's but she read it and it was not ok for me to publish it. So it will remain a draft indefinetely. We have to talk about it first.

Your questions?

I was really going to go into the insecurities thing, but if my wife won't let me put them out there then I dang sure don't expect any of you ladies to start answering questions of that highly personal nature. So maybe I'll go first. What are my insecurities? That is a good question.

Getting divorced. I've been divorced before and it hurt very badly I love hard and wouldn't want to get divorced. Especially from my Queen.

Inability to Manage. I fear that I will be unable to be able to balance home life and work life. Like if I really had to hustle at work. Right now I'm kind of coasting along which will come to a crash in about three years. Then I'm going to have to bust my butt, and I wonder that if I am busting my butt on the job will I have time for one wife let alone 2.

Inability to manage feelings. This short time has taught me how to communicate feelings with my wife, but the fact is just getting up off of feelings is difficult at best, now multiply that times two.

I wanted to ask those of you in polygyny what your biggest insecurities were. If you all answer it will be greatly appreciated. I can't talk about my wife's insecurities here, but I would like to hear yours if you care to share.

5 comments:

  1. I am not and never will be good enough!

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  2. My insecurities? Besides the whole job thing I wonder if I am making the right decision about reverting. Others: possible marriage, going back to college, financial, human interaction, you name it. Really insecure right now. :(

    We all have 'em, just need to work through 'em.

    ReplyDelete
  3. wa alaikum salaam,

    1st wife insecurities- hmm
    1. not knowing if your dh would end up loving someone else more than he loves you.

    2. feeling like he is not pleased with us because now he has someone to actually compare you to

    3. that he may 'try' seek refuge in another persons strengths to overcome the others weaknesses; or find one place a solace and another place a living hell, or chaos (ie me and hom have children and over there they have none= more free time, more quality time, more romantic time, more communicating time, etc)

    4. that he will change the way he treats me (bc someone entering the marriage has a difft perspective than the one who has been married on, so while wife 1 is withdrawing, depressed, and stressed, hurt and feeling betrayed, the other (assumingly) is feeling like a new toy, the newlywed stage, the honeymoon is for him twice)

    shall i go on...

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  4. I wish you would go on.....I'm so feeling what you are saying....here are a few of my own....added to yours....

    1. That when he's mad at me, he'll go to her and complain...and she'll know things about me, that no one has ever known before

    2. feeling like I'm never good enough anymore.....that whatever I do...in the back of his mind, he'll be thinking about how the other one does it....

    3. that he won't love me the same anymore....

    4. That he'll say something really stupid to me in a fit of anger...that'll hurt me for the rest of my life.....

    5. That our relationship will be forever changed...no more growing old together, behaving like an old couple in love...no 50th anniversary party with our kids and family....everything on that scope changed....His new favourite song? "Just the three of us"

    Oh man....I could think up a ton more.....go ahead and add Ummukatheer....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, I have some insecurities

    That wife number 3 will take over.

    that he will be infatuated with number 3 like he was with me.

    that I will turn into a fat, depressed old woman and he'll marry a 9 year old virgin!!

    that I will have a house full of children already have 5 and new wife will have a quiet peaceful house where he can sleep in on the weekends so he'll prefer that house to mine.

    ReplyDelete