Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Testing out

Alhamdulillah I read Juz 20 today. The verses that stuck out for me were do you think that you can believe and not be tested. I thought about that for quite sometime. Well as much time as I had. I had to read it at work. I have been having to read in the morning now. I have been driving to work early and then reading Quran and praying Fajr. I can read a Juz in about 20 minutes and then make Salaat or vice versa depending on when I get in.

I ordered a man purse for my iPad. It is a messenger bag and it looks pretty nice it is just kind of gay looking when I put it on. I think that I would like something in leather a lot better. It doesn't necessarily look girly but it doesn't look rugged either. I just need a bag for my iPad and keyboard and a magazine or two and business cards. I wanted something that I could have with me and be able to quickly take out my iPad and take down someones information and then get back with them. It is the Case Crown Vertical Multi Pocket Messenger bag. It is big enough for what I need.

So the latest word on the reconciliation is that there will not be one. I can understand my wife simply wanted something that I can't give right now. Not now with no work put forward to it. So I don't know what we were really thinking. I don't know maybe it is all my fault, but if it is I really don't care at this point. I am concerned about my kids. I won't have my kids for the weekends. I won't see them so I will have to come up with a way that we can communicate so that they don't grow up without me. I don't want lose the connection that I have with them so I will truly have to study the success of children of long distance non-custodial parents. I kind of want to write a book of how to be a great dad from 5000 miles away and just chronicle different ways that I can connect with my kids. I don't normally call her for anything now, when she moves away I could see that I would probably never ever call her. That however probably won't work very well for my little ones.

I am looking forward to going to Zaytuna though. Right there at the fountain of Islamic knowledge in the US. completely awesome. I am so looking forward to it. I just hope that I am able to keep balance between work and Deen and trying to spend some time with my kids. I am also going to be trying to finish my degree as well. I have to get that done. The only job that I am almost guaranteed is this next one. After this duty station I will have to make the next rank in order to stay in the service for another 4 years. If I make senior Chief I will be around for another 4 then I will just have 2 years left before I get out. After all of my years are up I will retire and hopefully travel the world. I may actually go and live in Belize or someplace else that the cost of living is minimal. I can do that or just travel the world and just enjoy the world for the rest of my life. I think that would be absolutely awesome.

Well it is time for me to get back to work. If this is 1000 words I will end this entry here otherwise I will tell you what is going on when I get home.

So I go to the Dr. and they are just like here these are you pills take them for a month and let's see what the hell happens. Smile on. I am like WTF I could have come in here and told you anything and you are just going to give me some frigging prescription controlled medication? Are you serious? So later I was talking to my Mom and she was like yep that's all that kind of Dr. Does they take the word of someone else and dish out the medication. If that is all that it takes I can dish out medicine that someone else says I need and make 150K a year give me that job.

Oh well it's on to the showers for me. Peace
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