Fuck!!!

Is the only thing you can say when you've made a complete mess of things. It's not an excuse, it is not a reason it is just a reality. I had said earlier that sin is pain entering the world and our Sunnah if followed to a T would eliminate world suffering. That is so true.

I didn't and the quagmire that is my life has sucked in yet another soul into this morass of what has become my life. Sulking is also another problem. Taking on the attitude that nothing really matters helps you emotionally for the time being. It is easy to say that you don't care, that nothing really matters and for a while it works, but ultimately it is a lie. It is a lie that works for a while because the truth of the matter is that you become a one-way black whole. The kindness and tenderness that others shower on you just gets sucked into this void that you have become and you give nothing or very little back. It's an infantile state.

Therefore the only reality is that no matter your greatest opposition, no matter how great of a person you are, you are going to hurt people. That is the reality. People being hurt that are just innocent bystanders. So this is where I am and that is all that I can say. Sorry doesn't really sum it up.

There's a lot of stuff I leave off my blog now. Partially not to infer actions by others and thus backbite by calling them out. Which leaves only my actions or behaviours that I exhibit in response to actions by others. So my postings have all been tempered and short in coming. My occasional anecdote is just a little to shallow to warrant sitting down at the computer and rapping out a little text over a quasi-interesting observation.