Thursday, February 21, 2008

How to Fuck up your marriage.

Hello all, actually I'm not going to write about fucking up your marriage per se but just the building blocks that mean most imminent doom.

  1. Communication: Or more specifically the lack thereof. Communication is the air of the relationship because without it the relationship is actually most imminently doomed. Communication is the cornerstone of every successful human relationship. Whether that be husband and wife, mother daughter, superior and subordinate communication is the very life-blood of a successful relationship.

    That being said we must look at detractors or inhibitors of communication. Arrogance is probably the most successful of all inhibitors because arrogance eliminates the capacity to listen. Without listening there can be no communication. Fear is the second most vital inhibitor. If you fear the results of a conversation then key specific facts are left out of the equation. These facts will not go away and go on and fester until they explode and force themselves to be dealt with or other things surrounding the real issue exacerbate the whole situation completely out of control.
  2. Anger: This is a key emotion usually coupled with gross frustration. It usually stems out of an issue that has not been addressed ie leading back to communication or has been treated with indifference. Anger is a passing emotion and drifts in and out like the wind, unless you continue to revisit it and justify it and not deal with the real problem.
  3. Pain Justification. This usually includes any acts of retaliation stemming from a break in something that has been held very dear in the relationship. The individual is in great pain and is missing that aspect of the relationship and feels transgressed against by the other person. This leads to a decision or a succession of decisions that lead to things that will be directly painful to the other person.
  4. Infidelity: For some this is a black and white issue for others it is very gray. Infidelity comes about for a couple of reasons and are of two types as I am currently seeing it. That which is done out of power which could also be directly coupled with arrogance or that which is borne out of pain, displaced anger and a break down in communication. In the situation of the latter usually one person cherishes and loves the relationship, but circumstances being what they are lead to a domino effect that allows any Shaytan to walk into. Normally with promises of saving the day, however such a relationship is doomed from the start to maximize the destructive effect.
  5. Lack of respect: When one partner doesn't respect the other partner's feelings or wishes or the other partner has fostered this attitude by being conforming to a one sided relationship. Eventually this will erupt into a melt down on either side.
There are more but mostly it all comes back to the same thing. Communication.

1 comment:

  1. My brother,

    You know I going to send this to a friend of mines with your permisson of course. It just that from everything she tells me from day to day.....those words sound so filmilar. I am tired of talking to her about her dreadful marriage...And her constant

    oh well i am going to go build a snow man for the neighbors kids......