Friday, January 02, 2009

Happy New Year Twice!!

So it is a new year both Islamically and Otherwise. I am still here, been learning a lot. I have the blessing of my kids from Hawaii here with me. They grow up so fast. They aren't supposed to grow up. Oh well maybe I'll get married again and have some more. Sakinah and I, well you get to a point where you are like fine if it does and fine if it doesn't. Some days I want it back like nothing else in the world and then there are days like today where I am like where do I send the child support payment? It is so funny the little revelations that you run into. I have run into quite a few over these last couple of weeks of my silence, still blogging just in my head mostly.

Little Revelations:

1.      You're a professional get paid well for what you do. I have been going to meetups and one of the first thing I have found out is GET PAID. You have to figure in how much your time is worth and CHEAP doesn't mean more money. If you do a job and do it well price yourself along with everyone else that is doing it well. If you do it cheap then you will probably get more business, but how well will you be able to do it. Price yourself so you can expect as much business as you can handle. You must factor in all of the time you are not in front of your customers as well, travel time, computer time, editing time and everything else. You may be in front of the customer for an hour, but after the job is done how much more time does it take before the job is complete?

2.      Your Deen is just that your Deen. If you live your Deen through someone else they will undoubtedly screw it up. If you got married thinking that he was going to be your leader you will be disappointed, if you got married thinking that you would work together you will be disappointed. If their faith was going to make you stronger, not happening. No it is your Deen and your Problem. You have to remember your family is a TEST and you will have to go through it and it doesn't matter if they are Muslim or non Muslim, faithful or not faithful, Dedicated or not you are going to have problems and you have to realize that NOTHING in life that happens to you or about you is about the other person it is ALL A TEST THAT IS BETWEEN YOU AND ALLAH!!!

3.      It is just stuff, at the end of the day it is all just Stuff and not important at all. You can work and work and work and collect all of the Stuff that you want, but no matter how pricey it is at the end of the day it is just stuff and when STUFF gets to the point where it clutters your life it becomes JUNK. Clothes that sit in the closet year after year and are not worn is JUNK. Cars that you don't drive are JUNK. Stuff that is not used is JUNK no matter how much it costs it is all just JUNK. Relationships, jobs, money, friends people that aren't moving you forward and clutter your life, spiritually, physically, sexually whatever can be effectively classed as JUNK too. Clean lines and dedication to Allah, Living on just what you need is the essence to peace of mind, remove the junk and breathe.

4.      Allah is not going to let you go. If you do your prayers with sincerity Allah isn't going to let you go to hell over something really stupid. On your way to do wrong you will find that if you are sincere in your Deen something will always come up to keep you from it. It is amazing, but it is in the Quran that Allah comes between a man and his heart. Trust me it gets to the point of where you have to frame it like "Allah I am intending to go out and break one of your rules and I will pray about it afterwards." Then your conscience kills you or if you are really determined you will get a flat, cops will stop you, children will wake up, semi-tractor trailer trucks will magically fall out of the sky, but it will be obvious that there will be dire consequences if you go through with that non-sense you were intending on doing. I'm just saying.

5.      The only thing that is truly important is what you do with this very moment. Focus on what is happening right this very second, because the next second isn't yours and there is no guarantee for tomorrow.

6.      My kids love me and I love them, but my Deen is mine and no matter how hard I want them to have Deen that is not mine to give them. It is entirely between them and Allah Subhannahu wa T'ala and that is the truth and the same goes for my wife and grand kids later on. I can only live my own Deen and that is all that I can do and the only thing that I can expect to see fruits from. In other words what I do in this life is between me and Allah and it has absolutely nothing to do with any other human on this planet. How I treat my neighbor is between me and Allah, how I treat my wife and my children is between me and Allah. When other people do me wrong it is between me and Allah. Every mosquito bite, every bill, every ticket, every catastrophe, every success and every failure is between ME and ALLAH and it has nothing to do with YOU whoever you may be.

7.      Everyone has to bear their own burdens. I'm a freak and we all know this (faithful but a freak nonetheless) and that is my test. There are others out there that are Gay or lesbian, drug addicts, depressed, bipolar, lazy, narcissistic, thieves or uninspired or overly ambitious and that is their test. Becoming Muslim doesn't make it any easier. As if all of your vices will poof into outer space. That is not happening. People are still going to be Gay or sex-fiends or all about themselves. Islam doesn't take that from you it just puts it into perspective and that is the test, once you see do you still choose to go astray. If I was faced with a ménage a trios today would I accept it or would I turn it down? I know I can't have it and that it would be wrong to do so, but the test is what do I do? The same goes for everyone else's vices as well. Your own vice. Are you full? Then why are you still eating? To be tested one must have knowledge and your faith essentially can be judged by the point where you stop saying "sure I'll do that, that is ok with me". Where is your line defined and only you can know and it is entirely between you and Allah. At the beginning of the Day and at the end of it there is only YOU and Allah and nothing else matters.

Well enough of my philosophizing for one day I have to get to work for it is that moment.

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