Sunday, February 22, 2009

Lessons from the front

The status of my blog is up in the air. Will it live on or will it die. It may not die, but it may cease to be public. It is probably not very wise to let every Jinn in Blogland know what you are doing. As if they didn't have enough information already. As of today the blog will live on indefinitely. She issued the edict to file the papers and I can understand where she is coming from. I have strained to understand this situation from day one and today I am only at a fraction of where I would like to be in this.

In moving on I will have to walk very lightly. Holding my Quran in one hand and trying to define the lines of faith which were so clearly once marked. My wife is no longer my shield for it is possible that she will cease being my wife. Now I walk naked, but the desires that were once there are no more so I have no excuse of keeping chaste. He has made it easy for me. I have nothing to offer anyone. So alone I will be until I do. I'd like to think I would net about $10K a month before that thought seriously crosses my mind. It is possibly my insecurities for that. I have no complaints. I have found true love and lost it (possibly) and there are many others that do not reach true love. So I at least know what it is like to truly be in love. Alhamdulillah.

What ended it is what ends most of the relationships, Communication, insecurity, fear, panic, anger, resentment, lack of respect. The list goes on but these are the top reasons. I'm too sleepy now to elaborate maybe I will try again later.

2 comments:

  1. Salaam Muhammad,

    I can't say the pain with cease quickly, but would you want it to anyway? Hold close to your faith and keep in contact with family and friends who love and support you. I have to admit this is the first time I have ever commented on your blog. I'm guilty, I'm an infrequent lurker. I was checking on Safa and something just told me check on you and your family. Hang in there :)

    Gabrielle

    ReplyDelete
  2. Salaam Muhammad,

    I can't say the pain with cease quickly, but would you want it to anyway? Hold close to your faith and keep in contact with family and friends who love and support you. I have to admit this is the first time I have ever commented on your blog. I'm guilty, I'm an infrequent lurker. I was checking on Safa and something just told me check on you and your family. Hang in there :)

    Gabrielle

    ReplyDelete