Monday, June 27, 2011

Welcome to the Single Polygamist

Hello all as you can see I changed the name of my blog to the single polygamist. Why because I'm a polygamist and I'm single. I'm looking forward on embarking on a brand spanking new life as a single man and as a single Dad. Why name my blog that, hell I'm just keeping it real. I don't know if it will be the final living arrangement that carries me to my last days but it is something that I know I won't be settled until I give it a try.

It is so funny that now I'm just jaded and I'm in a relationship. I think that my side of the relationship is stepping out because I don't want to commit right now and I'm not open to being vulnerable at all so obviously it is not working out well. Kind of hard to get close to someone when you keep them an arms length away. Oh well in time this too shall pass.

I have been doing a lot of thinking of a lot of things. I don't think that my divorce could have been avoided. I don't know if I can make a new situation work probably because I have a vision of how I want things to be and it works fine until you start adding people. There is no surprise that most of the people I find are NOT Muslims and there's that whole hole in the vision and usually it stops there. However because I love snuggling and such I don't know how I will keep that whole situation on an even keel.

I've been working in the clubs and for the most part you get to see a lot of things. Gross insecurity, hubris, fakers and people just trying to pass the night. I'm still to square to tell when people are hitting on me and maybe that's a good thing. I think that there is a single moment that people sometimes look for through all of the hurt and pain of their lives and they get to a point where they just want peace. For the most part I think that is where I am.

Then there are my kids. They are getting too big to have in bed with me all the time, so I have kicked them out to their own bed. They are so cute. I think I can be a single Dad and celibate as long as I have my little ones around. I am so looking forward to spending that single parent time with them. They will be coming with me to California. I'm looking forward to doing the soccer thing and ballet and martial arts and homework and sick days and school projects and menses NOT!!! Hopefully I have a few years to go before the last one.

Wow I'm actually going to have to make and "maintain" friends. LOL I used to pride my self on being a loner but really I think that keeping my kids will be good for me so that I can learn to think about others before myself. As an only child I don't really have to think about other people, I was always fine within myself. Now though I have my little ones to think about. They are my life and I have to be more diligent about how I am raising them. It's just so much work. Well It is time for me to get some work done. I love my ipad bluetooth keyboard combo it is the bomb.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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