Sunday, December 27, 2009

Just Pray for a brother

Whenever I talk to my Mom about my divorce she listens silently until I get to the point where I say that I am never getting married again. Then she becomes all up in arms. "Oh you should never say that." To this I think in one unanimous tone from the depths of my soul GET BENT! Obviously the dream of a loving and doting Muslim family is beyond my grasp so that fantasy can be shelved altogether. Maybe along with the whole polygamy thing too. So you see it is a win win all around. I don't have to hear any lies about how I'm the only one and all for one one for all tripe that marriage entails and no woman will have to hear about polygamy. Lying is not a strong point with me. Silence is though I can be silent about a great many things.

My Dad got it. He agrees that if the marriage that he is in now tanks he's hanging up his hat. My hat is hung. However it doesn't come without it's costs. For the last 3 Khutba's that I have attended, last 5 dars, and several random openings of the Quran it has all repeatedly and quite verbosely spoken about Zinna. The Effing Zinna trap. FFFFFFFFFuudge. Ya'll know me and that is a Day of Judgement ringer. Zinna is relatively easy to get into even if you arent looking for it. IF it is your weakness it will find you. Sheesh. Of course you can try to deceive yourself and be like well that's one that I'm going to have to live with and fix it all on the flip side, but in your head you know it doesn't work that way. When it goes in, people get hurt not to mention the STD roulette wheel that goes into effect. Gee Whiz.

Then you start to think that the contract Shia marriages or Mutaas aren't that bad. Then of course there is abstinence. Insha Allah I can swing that one. Well here we go into the realm of abstenence. Pray for a brother. I've heard a report that a famous Muslim scholar got remarried on his way back from his wife's funeral for the sole purpose of not falling into Zinna. Not because he was heartless, but because he was SMART! Me not so smart. I realize that dealing with it on the flipside is about as intelligent as smattering myself with fresh blood and then thashing around to defeat sharks. Dumb. Well I won't keep you posted on how I'm doing, because I'm not trying to get any sins added on to any sins I may or may not be committing. Just do me a favor and pray for a brother.

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